3 Very Common Sex Problems You Shouldn't Feel Ashamed to Have


bedThankfully, we no longer live in the stone age. Openly now, we can discuss sex, our sex lives, and what we do and do not want in the bedroom. How often, though, do we actually discuss the PROBLEMS we've faced in our sex lives.

It's time to talk about sex -- and common sexual problems. Because everyone deserves a great sex life -- even you.

The Journal of the American Medicine Association (JAMA), wrote an article in 1999 that unearthed the very real truth: sexual problems are common in both men and women, but more common in women. Here are the common sexual problems JAMA discovered:

Lack of sexual desire -- the lack of interest in sex or desire for sex is common in both men and women -- but more common in women. This lack of desire is temporary for some people and ongoing in others. It can be caused by relationship or emotional problems, as well as a side effect of many types of medications.

Difficulties becoming aroused or achieving orgasm -- sometimes a difficulty becoming aroused is related to decreased sexual desire, but in others, a woman feels sexual desire but cannot actually become aroused. Anorgasmia -- or absent orgasm -- is common and very upsetting to a woman who feels desire and does become aroused. Being unable to achieve orgasm may be sporadic, or it may be ongoing. Obviously, this is a frustrating situation that may lead to a lack of sexual desire.

Pain during sex -- also called dyspareunia is actually fairly common. This pain can begin during sex and last for days following the encounter. Clearly, when a woman feels pain during sex, it may also inhibit her desire to have sex. Sometimes, a doctor can help a woman by searching for -- and treating -- the underlying cause of dyspareunia.

The causes of these common sexual problems can be as varied and complex as we are. We shouldn't be ashamed of having them, but we should work on them. The good news is that by talking to your doctor, you may be able to fix them and enjoy a normal, enjoyable, rockin' sex life.

Have you dealt with any of these issues? How do you handle them? Any tips for others suffering the same types of problems?


Image via PlayfulLibrarian/Flickr

orgasm, sex, sex drive, sex ed, sexuality


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butte... butterflymkm

Due (I believe) to sexual abuse I suffered as a kid, I have anorgasmia. Kind of. It is impossible for me to orgasm WITH someone else. I can alone though with a vibrator or whatever but not with my husband or any partner before him. It isn't that my man isn't a good lover, he's awesome in fact, it's just me. I also have a chronic lack of sexual desire for the same reason. I'd probably be fine having sex every couple months. Obviously that's not good for a healthy relationship though and thankfully my man is very understanding. I am in therapy and working on it & I have hope that healing will bring change.

Argentina Iraheta

A mix of mood and medication makes it very hard for me to desire sex. On the few days I can manage to relax and my meds don't have me zonked out, it's great, but almost every other time I just can't get into it. I hate the guilt I feel about it, but I don't know what I can do to make it better short of going off meds, but that would make the mood issue worse.

Boobo... Boobookittt74

I've definately had a lack of sex drive in the past few years. Before i had kids (and lots more stress) I always wanted it every day. Ha now I would love if Hubby would quit buggin me! I think like once a week or even a lil longer is fine with me! I have to push myself to do it way more because it's real obvious the strain it puts on our marriage when it goes too long. But it almost makes me resentful to have to MAKE myself do it more than I want just to keep the peace around the house and yet I realize he has needs too soni deal with it. I've been thinking of talking to a doctor about it soon because it really bothers me that I have such low desire and I'm only in my 30s. And Hubby is AWSOME so why the hell don't I wanna bother. I told my bff its like goin to the gym, it kills me cuz I just don't wanna go but if I do and get it over with it feels good AFTER haha that's my best comparison

Eques... EquestrianMom

I loved being a teenager, I was so horny all the time! Coulda been doing it all day long :P Now, I have so much on my mind, it is hard to get in the mood, and even when I manage to, something pops in right before I orgasm and ruins the moment for me :( Sucks. 

butte... butterflymkm

Boobook-I feel ya! I feel so guilty if I don't do it but then when I do it just to appease him (and because I feel like I should and to make him happy) I end up feeling resentful.

Torra... TorranceMom

My sex drive while I've been nursing my children has literally been nonexistant. I'm lucky my husband is patient, understanding and totally supportive of the benefits of long term nursing because we haven't had sex in probably half a year. Not that it would have changed my desire to nurse my kids, but I wish someone would have prepared me for this part of breastfeeding.


Our sex drive is the most obvious and talked about evidence of the mind-body(psychosomatic) connectionHow we feel/think definitely affects our bodies.  If I'm stressed/sad etc. my li-bed-o definitely takes a vacation and if I do engage andO, its a measly peanut , but if I am happy I'm walking around dripping, can't get enough and double/triple walnuts! ;.}

Unfortunate about the breastfeeding ;.{ An elder jokingly told me that it was that is was natures way of making sure each baby got their TiTi time and ensure we didn't have babies too close together.  Frustrating but logical! ;.}

I can not speak on the medicine part, but I can imagine that must be super frustrating and worth taking to your doctor about.  its like you need the meds, but...

Anything that effects our sex lives is worth working to fix, cause its f*cking with one of the best reasons to be married/committed/dating, an adult or a live...LOL! ;.} 

marya... maryannsmith827

I had to have a complete hysterectomy in 2007 and i swear my sex drive left with my body parts. Hubby is VERY supportive but i know it really bothers him. We have not been intimate in about 3 years. There are other factors behind this as well, its not just my surgery which is y Dh is so supportive. We have lots to work on, and i would like to get back to a happy and fun intimate bond with dh.

RoseB... RoseBlossom

i had lots of different times in my life (im 25 now) that i went through having absolutely no sex drive to being wild. having 4 kids from an early age( my first at 19) definitely didnt help, nor having an abusive husband, however when i met my soul mate later on, my sex life changed for the better. i was more into it because i was emotionally and psychologically happier, and even when we had our daughter, i still wanted it, until i actually gave birth to her and then my libido dissapeared. much much later, i realuzed that a lot of what was going on was in my head, i wasnt letting myself relax, i was thinking about too many things, stressing and worrying about small stuff....and it was selfish of me because he needed me sexually just like i needed him emotionally, thats just how men and women are wired. so i told myself, even when i wasnt in the mood, 'i am pleasing him, just like he pleases me when he cuddles and watches a movie with me', and it was hard at first, the resentment of feeling like i was 'used' was there at first, but i had to push it away because i was not being used, he needed to spend time with me sexually because thats how he 'let go' and felt closer to me, eventually, my body began to come back from 'the dark side' and now, even if im not in the mood, i still kinda am because we love each other and meet each other's 'needs'

RoseB... RoseBlossom

oh, and another thing that helps him, hahah, is playing video games, and this will let him focus on something else besides sex, because as a younger man, he obviously has a higher sex drive than myself who had 4 kids and whos body is all over the place still, and will give me a break if i need it

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