Kardashian Marriage Calculator Proves Reality TV Is Missing Out on Real Love


Kim KardashianThe jokes about the longevity (or lack thereof) of the Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries union have been running wild. But nothing has quite captured the insanity of spending $17.9 million on a wedding for a marriage that lasted just 72 days like the Kardashian Calculator. Or as it should be known, the Kardashian Kalculator.

A coder from Iowa named Bryan Forbes is somebody with a little bit too much time on his hands and a lot of mathematical know-how. And he has figured out how to measure your marriage in Kardashian time. Which we, naturally, put to the test ... for some intriguing results.

By entering your wedding date and hitting "calculate," Forbes' little gadget divides the time that's passed since you said "I do" by 72 days. Or as he calls it, by a Kardashian, a unit of measure representing 72 days of marriage.

At first I thought the Kalculator was just a bit of fun, but after determining that I've logged 56.28 Kardashians with my husband (that's a little over 11 years for those of you who don't do multiplication in your brain), I then plugged in my parents' wedding date and, for the hell of it, my grandparents'. The first is just over 187, but the second? At the time of my grandmother's death, they'd been married 310.74 Kardashians!

And we're giving Kim, Khloe, and the gang their own reality shows? E! is being forced to show repeats of " Kim's Fairytale Wedding" when they'd have fresh stuff if they dropped these bozos and went with a couple who knows what staying power is! Imagine the stuff they could get if they started following around old people who have been married for 310+ Kardashians. It would be ratings gold, and American couples might actually learn something!

If we measured our marriages against one like that, we might actually feel like we'd accomplished something if the calculator spit back a big number ... don't you think?


Image via Kalumba2009/Flickr

commitment, breakups


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Adeli... Adelicious

I've been married 26.8 Kardashians! Very amusing!

mojoe... mojoe12776

117.33 Kardashians for me!! Cause I took it seriously!!!

Megan Jones

Love it!!!! 21.04 Kardasians!!! You gotta start somewhere! :)

Kerrie Kaneen

I have been married 11.07 Kardashians LOL Love It!!

Bekki... BekkieBoodle

10.79... lol.. too funny

Paula Pulasky Mlynarski

1.06 Kardashians for me.....Married on the same day as Kim and Kris!

jaxmadre jaxmadre

I was married for 33.32 Kardashians.

Badge83 Badge83

16.9 here...lol

jeann... jeannesager

So glad to hear you made it over that rough hump Paula! :)

lilyk... lilyknight

yea! I got 35.1 and still going strong lol

1-10 of 11 comments 12 Last