You're Bound to Fall for a Guy Like Your Father


father of the brideI admit, ever since I've been a kid, I've been a daddy's girl. I've always felt, deep down, especially because my dad and I have always been close, that ultimately, I'd probably end up with a guy like him.

Sure, when I was a fiery teen, I'd brazenly vow to fall for whomever I pleased, even if that wasn't my folks' idea of the Perfect Guy. But lo and behold, when I got down to being serious about looking for love, I signed up for JDate ... seeking someone they'd likely adore: A nice Jewish guy. Someone artistic, but down-to-earth, funny, patient, kind, liberal-minded, humanitarian, etc. (Yeah, I wasn't too picky! Rrright.)

And somehow, after a LOT of trial and error, I found that guy ... my boyfriend. The similarities between him and my father aren't exactly surface-level. My boyfriend is six feet tall with fair skin and light hair; my dad is more like 5'7"-ish, used to have dark brown hair, and now likes to joke that he resembles Albert Einstein. But their commonalities, when they crop up, are striking -- the kinds of books they're into, their love of airplanes and history and conspiracy theory, and above all, they share a genuinely compassionate, kind, patient nature. What's more, my mom says that my boyfriend has a lot of traits in common with my grandfather -- like being inventive, loving to work with his hands, and constantly learn new things. I definitely see that.

None of this should come as a surprise to me. It also doesn't seem all that strange that my sister's chosen a guy who has a lot in common with my dad, too. We gravitate to what we know, what we're comfortable with. Take a look at Frances Bean Cobain, who might be engaged to a guy who bears a striking resemblance to her late father, Kurt. Even though Frances barely knew her father, she's fallen for a guy who reminds her of him. Obviously, the whole "falling for a guy like your dad" thing isn't just an old wives' tale. It's not shocking or strange -- it just is, and it seems like often, it can be for the best.

Do you believe that we look for our parents' traits in our partners? Does your honey remind you of your dad?


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nonmember avatar Whoa

Whoa! One EXTREMELY important premise you didn't mention at all is that the girl has to at least LIKE her father in order for this to hold any degree of truth. If a father has always neglected/abused/screwed up his family (daughter and/or wife), then you can be sure as hell that the daughter would look for a man that's totally the opposite from her father. This is coming from personal experience: I would rather die single than end up with anyone remotely similar to my father. (I do agree that if the daughter was on good terms with her father and respected him a lot, then yes, it's likely that she would unconsciously look for someone like her father.)

mommix4 mommix4

Thankfully my husband is nothing like my father

Michael L. Irons

Did you all see "How I Met Your Mother" on Monday. If not, you need to watch it along with this article.

Lisa Moore

Nope, my dad is an abusive drug addict that is currently incarcerated. I agree that some women do gravitate toward men who resemble their fathers, some do even if they didn't have good relationships with them. I didnt though and I'm glad.

nonmember avatar Kelly

If you have a great dad, I think this is true. Although I hate to admit it... I have a close relationship with my dad and people constantly comment that they look alike. Both are tall and bald.

GirlN... GirlNamedBillie

Nope, my dad was physically and mentally abusive. My husband is nothing like my dad.

vanes... vanessa5470

Hell no. My dad was a jerk. I made sure to find the exact OPPOSITE.

Argentina Iraheta

My husband has a few of the more superficial similarities about my dad that I liked: a love of cars and rock music is all they really share. Other than that, completely different. My dad was/is a mentally and emotionally abusive drunk that would rather buy a pack of smokes than food. I actively sought someone who was not like him.

nonmember avatar Carolyn

Hopefully my guy doesn't end up being too similar to my dad... He came out just before I was 16. Aside from that aspect, I'd love for my guy to be similar to my dad. He's a terrific person, I'm so lucky to have him.

jlynx0 jlynx0

My husband and my father have very few similarities. Thank god. They are both quiet. It's hard to hear them when they speak unless you are right beside them. They are both quick tempered. Very hot headed. And they both go for the same football team. That's about where it ends. They look nothing alike and act nothing alike Besides the above mentioned. 

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