I admit, ever since I've been a kid, I've been a daddy's girl. I've always felt, deep down, especially because my dad and I have always been close, that ultimately, I'd probably end up with a guy like him.
Sure, when I was a fiery teen, I'd brazenly vow to fall for whomever I pleased, even if that wasn't my folks' idea of the Perfect Guy. But lo and behold, when I got down to being serious about looking for love, I signed up for JDate ... seeking someone they'd likely adore: A nice Jewish guy. Someone artistic, but down-to-earth, funny, patient, kind, liberal-minded, humanitarian, etc. (Yeah, I wasn't too picky! Rrright.)
And somehow, after a LOT of trial and error, I found that guy ... my boyfriend. The similarities between him and my father aren't exactly surface-level. My boyfriend is six feet tall with fair skin and light hair; my dad is more like 5'7"-ish, used to have dark brown hair, and now likes to joke that he resembles Albert Einstein. But their commonalities, when they crop up, are striking -- the kinds of books they're into, their love of airplanes and history and conspiracy theory, and above all, they share a genuinely compassionate, kind, patient nature. What's more, my mom says that my boyfriend has a lot of traits in common with my grandfather -- like being inventive, loving to work with his hands, and constantly learn new things. I definitely see that.
None of this should come as a surprise to me. It also doesn't seem all that strange that my sister's chosen a guy who has a lot in common with my dad, too. We gravitate to what we know, what we're comfortable with. Take a look at Frances Bean Cobain, who might be engaged to a guy who bears a striking resemblance to her late father, Kurt. Even though Frances barely knew her father, she's fallen for a guy who reminds her of him. Obviously, the whole "falling for a guy like your dad" thing isn't just an old wives' tale. It's not shocking or strange -- it just is, and it seems like often, it can be for the best.
Do you believe that we look for our parents' traits in our partners? Does your honey remind you of your dad?
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