Online dating was once something that people did in private. But recently when someone told me she met her boyfriend "in line at the bookstore" and I later met him and discovered A.) he wasn't a "bookstore" kind of guy and B.) they actually met on Match.com, I was surprised. Isn't online dating kind of the norm now?
After all this time, I would think online dating would have long since surpassed the stigma it once had of weirdos in basements who pretended to be 6'2" lawyers when they are actually 5'1" and have no jobs at all. I have seen enough marriages come of online dating and now even celebrities (like Carrie Ann Inaba) are doing it like it's the norm.
So why are people still hiding it? And then I realized: Of the many married couples I know, almost none of us met online.
I met my husband in elementary school (though we reconnected online); my best friend met her husband at work. Other friends met their spouses at college and so on and so on. For as normal as online dating appears to be, I guess I don't know that many success stories.
Or maybe people are lying. Maybe more people are meeting online than are admitting it. So what's up with the stigma? It's 2011, people! Almost everyone I know has gone on at least one online date.
Still, even with its incredible ubiquity, most of the people I know ended up meeting their mates in real life somehow. Online you can fake chemistry. But real chemistry only happens in person. That crackling static that happens when two people have chemistry just can't be reproduced online.
Online dating is like the modern day equivalent of searching for the frog prince. There are a lot of duds and far fewer princes. But still, they are out there, probably searching for you, too! Online dating can be your best friend if you let it. You may not meet your soul mate, but with our crazy hectic schedules and modern lives full of chaos, it's awfully nice to have an easy way to make sure you have plans for Saturday night.
Do you think online dating is weird?
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Comments 32
I also met my husband online, on Yahoo Personals. We've been together ten years now and married just over nine. We just had a lot in common, and as it turned out we even knew a few of the same people (his sister and my friend Patrick dated in high school).
Funny aside to that last tibit, my friend Patrick actually tried to set me up with his girlfriend's brother when we were in high school and I refused to let him. Had no idea I'd wind up marrying him!
I met mine online. I stopped talking to him to go back to my ex and we reconnected on the same site a year later and we are now happily married.
I met my husband online nothing weird about it as long as you're safe when you do decide to meet up.
I met my husband in 1999 on a freeform writing forum. We've been together since. My mother-in-law met her husband on eHarmony two years ago, and they're immensely happy. There's nothing weird about it at all. It's just another form of place to meet people. You have to use the same common sense as when you meet anyone face-to-face anywhere else.
Meeting someone online also allows you to really get to know them. If you're not after a real relationship, hang out in bars and clubs, and a quick fling is likely what you'll get. But if you want to build something strong, and find out if you're compatible, talking to someone extensively online is a good way to do it. eharmony specifically guides you through several stages with this purpose in mind. It's not just about looks, it's also about personality and things you have in common, including life goals and ambitions.
Add me to the list- I met my husband online, too! We aren't weirdos at all. In fact, when we tell people how we met, most people have a hard time accepting or even believing it because we don't fit the incorrect and misleading stereotype of who uses online dating.
Online dating turned out to be an excellent way to 'weed out' potential time wasters traditionally met through bars, clubs, friends, social groups, work, school, etc...
You can just 'delete' anyone who is clearly a jerk, creep, not your type, incompatible, way too old or young, etc... After deletes, you email people who seem interesting, and learn about them through their writing (which is extremely revealing).
In this way, online dating saves time by eliminating the first dates, where people traditionally chat to see if they are remotely compatible. In addition, you have a wider pool of people to meet- I never would have met my husband otherwise, since we lived in different neighborhoods and hung out at different places in a large, anonymous city.