Sleeping with your partner in the same bed doesn't always make for sweet dreams. No matter how much you love them. Maybe he was used to sleeping on the left side, but so are you, and of course, there's only one of those. Maybe you snore, he's got bad "night gas" (you know what I'm talking about!). Long story short ... share a bed with a guy long enough, and you'll figure out if you REALLY love him. And you'll figure out if he's actually a good guy. The kind found in a little study done by a psychologist named Donna Dawson. According to her research, most men let their ladies win the "bed war."
This means we usually end up getting the side of the bed we want and, I'd argue, probably the space, too! (Sheets, as well? Ha!) Dawson says this probably has to do with how men are conditioned to protect us, and so they'll usually give in and let us have our way. Interestingly, Dawson notes that there are lots of reasons why we as women may prefer one side of the bed over the other.
You know, like being closer to the door to tend to a crying baby or farther from the door and potential danger. And good guys realize and respect that. (I also have always had a theory you're more likely to be comfortable enough to sleep well next to the kind of guy who would treat you like a queen ... no matter the size of the mattress!)
Personally, my back problems have made it so that sleeping on my stomach with my left leg crouched is most comfortable, and for that reason, I insisted a while back that I get the left side of the bed -- even though it was the side my boyfriend prefers, too. And he gave in! He still steals it from time to time, but that doesn't last very long. No sirree -- he knows what's up and takes good care of me. (He'll tell you he only gives in, because he doesn't want to hear any whining ... but you know men, they don't want to admit they're the softies they really are!)
Sure, I think a king bed is in our future at some point, so we can each have a lot more room. But for now, I appreciate that he makes the sacrifice and space for me. Letting me win the bed war is definitely an act of love.
Do you win the bed war with your partner?
Image via Perfecto Insecto/Flickr
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Comments 11
I've only cared what side of the bed I slept on when our room was so tiny that the bed was crammed up against the wall. I was up and down all night to pee when I was pregnant and to deal with the baby after she was born, so I had to be on the outside so I wouldn't be crawling OVER my husband 4 or 5 times a night. After 19 years and 4 kids in and out of our bed, I don't care where I sleep, I just want SOME sleep.
yeah he always lets me choose what side of the bed I get, I like sleeping next to the wall
He really doesn't care. For some reason unknown to me, I always gravitate either to the right side of a bed, or to the side that's up against a wall, if applicable. I couldn't say why I prefer these. Sheets? I "cocoon" when I sleep, so... if we didn't each use our own comforters, he'd have died of hypothermia by now. Handy after dinner at Taco Bell, too...
lol, yes I always win bed wars!
We're pretty good at compromising. In our first apartment, he wanted to be on the right side of the bed, but the left side of our bed was right next to the window, on the ground floor, with a sidewalk about five feet away. And for some reason that just gave me the willies and I couldn't sleep. So he switched sides with me until we moved to a different place where that wasn't an issue, and he could have the right side again. We've kept to our sides of the bed ever since.
We don't go to bed at the same time. I am a SAHM, and I stay up later than him. He goes to bed at 9pm, and leaves for work @ 5:30am.
If I slept @ 9pm, I'd never get any alone time! I'm laid out on a new leather couch watching "That 70s Show".
I'd take that over snuggling any day. Weekends are different though! We all sleep in bed on Friday and Saturday.