Birth Control Pills Lead You to Mr. Wrong


birth control pillsMore proof that birth control pills can be evil: Women who are on the drug tend to choose partners who are less attractive and worse in bed. Oh, but take heart -- apparently, these guys are also "a sounder bet for a long-term relationship." Huh?? Well, the study, done by researchers at Stirling University in Scotland, found that of about 1,000 women who were on the pill, most had longer relationships -- by two years on average -- and were less likely to separate.

Sure, that's good news! But the fact that at the same time, they were "less satisfied with the sexual aspects of their relationship" is disturbing! What's the point of being with someone longer if you're not that attracted to your partner and you have a terrible sex life? Researchers are not painting a happy picture about hormonal birth control here for ladies.

The findings, however, are not at all surprising. It's well-known that birth control obliterates hormones that trigger our natural responses to the opposite sex. The researchers even said that the Pill skews our subconscious "chemistry." Earlier research has shown that women on hormonal contraceptives, who lack the hormonal ebbs and flows of the menstrual cycle, tend to choose genetically similar men. Whereas women who aren't on it are more likely to pick a genetically different guy when they're ovulating (and genetically similar ones when we're not). It's simply nature's way: The less similar you are to your mate genetically, the higher the tendency for your baby to be healthier and have a better chance of survival.

In other words, the Pill can be like a bad curse trying to steer us toward the WRONG guy! Totally freaky to think it really could influence who you fall for and end up shaping your love and sex life. GAH.

If you have any feeling at all that the Pill is screwing with your mind and sex drive, the fix, say researchers, is to do a trial off of it (instead using condoms or a natural method of birth control) for the reassurance for a few months before saying "I do." Given the research, the experiment doesn't seem like such a bad idea!

What do you think about the Pill influencing partner choice?


Image via Monik Markus/Flickr

dating, commitment, sex, marriage, birth control


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Bibiana Garcel

To answer the author's question, I think it sucks. Luckily I've fallen in love with my husband before I was on the pilll. But if I had it my way, I would probably be on birth control when I met him (my mother did not want me on bc, preferably until I was in a serious relationship).


If I was on the pill, this would definitely be a worry for me. To which the only solution is to get off it and opt for non-hormonal birth control. The only one I like is the copper IUD but unfortunately it doesnt fit me. Messing around with condoms, diagphrams, or caps everytime we have sex is exhausting. That's why I'm on the pill.

nonmember avatar kail

you're going to trust a study, a novel study might I add, with a sample size of 1,000 for the experimental group? you're going to believe a study whose relevant statistical results aren't included in this or the referring article? How dumb are you women? why can't you think outside the box and take control of your body?

and you marissa, shame on you. shame on you for pandering with this bullshit

nonmember avatar Stefanie

Thank you Kail...I totally agree with your analysis. Even if the sample size was larger than 1000, 1 study is not enough to be statistically significant. Especially if it wasn't conducted over the long-term or recreated by other researchers. But I must admit, I've been on the pill for a few years now and I am in a long term relationship with someone who is less attractive than other men I've dated. He's great in bed though and because he's more emotionally connected to the relationship than past men, I am more than satisfied with our sexual chemistry. The study may be on to something but its conclusions, at this point, cannot be relied on. Maybe men who are less attractive are indeed better candidates for long lasting relationships. Maybe women who take birth control are the type of women who find themselves in stable relationships. Maybe hormonal factors associated with birth control influence sex drive and sexual satisfaction...but this study offers no conclusive evidence on the truth or falsity of these seemingly correlated phenomena. And to say that the pill screwing with my mind is rubbish! Unplanned that's a different story

nonmember avatar Flower

I'm going to stop taking the Pill and have sex with hot guys only...they will more than likely be one night stands. And the ones that do last, while the sex will be awesome...he will probably not be relationship material.

This study is a joke. Are you seriously encouraging women to go off a proven method of birth control so they can figure out if the person that they are with is not the one simply because sex might not be rocking? How irresponsible of you.

if you sex life sucks don't blame it on him or the pill. Two people in a relationship have sex.

nonmember avatar Fabiana

I believe this article makes lots of sense! Thanks for sharing. It is true that a large party of our behaviors and thoughts are triggered by the chemistry/ hormones in our brains.

Christian Poppycock

Not fair! Us clueless losers need lovin' too!

nonmember avatar pill lady

There are several studies that suggest this result. I was on the pill 15 years, and when I got off of it, I can tell you for sure that my hormones & who I was attracted to changed dramatically. From my own personal experience, I think this study is 100% on target (unfortunately) and I will never take the pill again.

nonmember avatar Frd

Oh, Maressa, you are so very young. Your quote 'What's the point of being with someone longer if you're not that attracted to your partner and you have a terrible sex life?' reveals a misunderstanding of the role of sex in a healthy and vital relationship. As you age, you will discover that the acrobatics of sex fade as a couple matures and grows deeper in emotional, spiritual, and experiential connection. Our society's obsession with sex, sex, sex as the end-all, be all has distorted the minds of men and women - on or off the pill.

nonmember avatar JD

Maybe it's the pill that makes guys seem unattractive and sex less enjoyable. Kind of like anti-beer goggles.

nonmember avatar K

Maressa, it's a common myth that "genetically different" mates produce healthier kids, but it's flat out FALSE. I don't doubt the actual research that says the pill makes you pick slightly more genetically similar mates, but I think either you are misinterpreting the research, or someone told you a load of hooey. Some research says that genetically similar mates can actually produce healthier offspring, but regardless, is certainly incorrect for you to label someone as "Mr. Wrong" based on genetics. After all, you note the strange fact that these so-called "Mr. Wrongs" tend to stay in relationships longer. As far as whether they are worse in bed than other men, if they were really lousy lays, you'd think women would leave them. The fact that a female stays in a relationship with a nice, sensitive, "safe guy," who might be mediocre in bed, probably means that neither one of them is God's gift to the opposite sex.

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