I've never been big on ladies "waiting for their man to propose." And what I mean by that is "I've never been big on ladies constantly complaining that their man hasn't yet proposed." It's not that I'm callous or unsympathetic -- I will totally listen to you, and listen hard, if you'd like -- it's just ... I don't know, there's something sort of retro and icky about it.
The way I see it, it's 2011. A man and a woman should reach a decision together regarding whether or not they're ready to commit their lives to each other. It shouldn't solely be in the hands of the man. And if it is, well, there's a gross imbalance of opinion in the relationship, and it might be time to move on, as difficult as that may be.
Brides.com, purveyors of all things monogrammed and poofy, think differently, though. They feel if a woman wants to bitch (and bitch) about her boyfriend's inability to produce a shiny thing, they should be given a (really depressing) forum to do so.
Dubbed "Waiting for the Ring," the forum is a place for women to vent to complete and total strangers about their significant others -- and the fact that they still haven't popped the question. And it's not, like, normal venting. It's full-on "I'm trying to concoct a way to get him arrested if he doesn't propose" "venting." Here's a (kind of long) sampling:
my soon to be (hoping for 3 years now) fiance still hasn't proposed to me after being together for so long.
i give him everything a man could ask for. i cook his dinner for him on sunday's, i rub his neck after he gives me a full body massage, i only complain about him hanging out with his friends when i'm on my period (but only so he thinks it's my hormones), and we even have sex 1 time a week.
so this is what i'm thinking to get him to propose. he smokes marijuana in the basement of his house EVERY NIGHT! if i tell him that he either proposes to me or i call the police about his marijuana, does this make me a bad person? i talked to my stylist and she said go for it.
You can check out this particular thread. (And then get lost in the others.) This isn't a joke, like I originally (naively) though. This is real. And it's frightening.
What kind of basis for marriage is this? Blackmail? Talking smack to complete strangers? And LuvDiamonds -- that's the poster's screenname -- I think you're probably better off with someone who doesn't smoke weed in the basement every night. Although the full body massage does sound kind of nice ...
I get that venting feels good, it's cathartic. We all, including me, indulge in it from time to time. But this forum gives it a whole new meaning. And something about it seems sort of deceptive. But most of all, it's just super depressing
What do you think of "Waiting for the Ring"?
Image via ilovebutter/Flickr