Women Who 'Wear the Pants' Have the Worst Sex Lives


couple tangoingTrue or false: The more household decisions a woman makes, the less sex she has. According to a new study from Johns Hopkins University, that statement is spot-on. More specifically, researchers say that the more decisions a woman reported making on her own, as compared to through joint decision-making, the less likely she was to have sex and the longer it was since she last got it on. In fact, more dominant and assertive women had approximately 100 times less sex. WOW!

You'd think empowered women would be having MORE sex, because they're more confident and in control of their wants and desires. It's important to note, though, that this study was done in African countries, and so, I'm not quite sure the findings from women over there are directly comparable to here in the U.S. However, the research does raise an interesting point.

First of all, let's just get this one thing out of the way. I don't think it has anything to do with how hubbies are "turned off" by a woman running the show at home (even though you'd think that was the case from the way studies like these are reported). If these take-charge ladies aren't having sex, it's probably because they don't want to or they're simply not prioritizing it ... which is fine.

But if they're not having as much sex as they would LIKE to be having, then it's a different story. In those cases, the pants-wearing women are probably so set on and stressed out by being a multitasking Superwoman that they forget to take care of themselves and their intimate relationship with their partner. Women who run the household completely, who don't partake in "joint decision-making" -- whether it's because they feel like they have to do everything themselves or they just don't want to be bothered with hashing things out with their hubby -- probably aren't making joint decisions in the bedroom either. What a mistake!

It's difficult for me to even imagine a household where one partner solely carries the weight of ALL the big decisions. (Really, does that even exist anymore?) I grew up hearing my parents hash most financial, healthcare, family plans, etc. out together. Similarly, my boyfriend and I approach everything from negotiating our rent to dealing with a wonky health insurance claim as a team. That attitude certainly extends to the bedroom.

So, it actually comes as no surprise women who choose to skip joint decision-making have crappier sex lives. After all, as the cliche goes, it takes two to tango.

Are you surprised by this research?


Image via Sergey Kuznetsov/Flickr

sex, marriage


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nonmember avatar ctplady

The women you describe aren't 'wearing the pants' they are carrying the load because of the losers they have chosen. There's a big difference between these two ladies.

I do 'wear the pants' in this family in the truest sense and I do not carry the burdens of these women you describe. As for the 'less sex' part...please!

nonmember avatar ele4phant

So if you had read the study, you would have seen that researchers suspected that women who consider themselves as equals with their partners have less sex because they are more empowered to say 'no' and make decisions about if and when they want to have sex. Women who are in more submissive households don't get the option of saying no, and have sex when their husband wants regardless of if they want sex or not. Hardly sounds like a better sex life to me.

jonellg jonellg

This does not surprise me at all. I married an Alpha male for many reasons.

nonmember avatar ele4phant

Additionally, the study asked about frequency, not overall satisfaction. Quality and quantity are not the same.

Alicia Lili Mauer

The study took place in African countries. Abstinence is sometimes the only form of birth control, even for married women. I'm with ele4phant. These women are having less sex because they are taking control of their lives and bodies, not because it's being withheld from them. 

Leo Ryan

It's fascinating how the term "wearing the pants" gets used without any indication it refers to the common belief that those who have traditionally worn trousers, that is men, are the ones considered to have the right to control, have power and be the dominant one in any relationship with a woman. It is as if when women are referred to as"wearing the pants" they have usurped the role that customarily is seen as being the man's role, regardless if this is acceptable or not. In my view it is totally unacceptable and continual use of the expression, perpetuates this myth.

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