The 11 Most Annoying Things Single Women Don’t Want to Hear

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Single ladiesSometimes I think folks feel obligated to say something to make other people feel better and end up sounding crazy, coming off pretentious, or flat-out offending them. I know they mean well, but doggone, they can say some foolish stuff. I try to take that into consideration whenever I have a conversation about being single.

At my uncle’s funeral a few months ago, one of the ministers I’ve known since I was a kid leaned forward in her seat as I walked by. “I’m tired of coming to see your family about sad news,” she grinned. “When am I coming to do a wedding?”

“Welp, you’re the one with the direct line to the Lord. Pray up a man for me to marry and we can have the wedding of your dreams,” I snarked.

I can’t speak for all singleistas — and really, I wouldn’t even try — but I’ve got a list of things I know I’m sick of hearing or answering in my adventures in unmarried-ness. 

11. Use this time to work on you. Anytime’s a good time for self-improvement. I know some women need to decompress following a really bad or hurtful relationship, but singleness need not be the sole reason to chase a dream or chip away at a personal flaw. Shouldn’t that just be a part of life, hitched or not?

10. Stop being so picky. A woman wants what she wants. But if expecting a man to have a job, his right mind, some manners, and all of his front teeth — and not the gold kind — makes a gal picky, then guilty as charged.

9. Just pray about it. With tsunamis and floods, hurricanes and storms, and the presidential election coming up, too, I refuse to bother God with the deets of my love life anymore. Unless He just needs a good chuckle. 

8. Is that what you’re wearing to go out? No, actually it’s not. I was just about to change into my man-magnet lace bra top and hot pants.

7. I envy you. I wish I was still single. Can we be honest with each other right here? If you really wanted to be single, boo, you would be. It’s free and available to anybody who wants to have it. Plenty of it to go around. So don’t feign envy at my marital status.  

6. It’s his loss. That might’ve made me feel better when I was in the fifth grade. Maybe a scratch and sniff sticker to go along with the advice would help heal the hurt.

5. Have you tried [insert online dating site here]? I know the commercials are convincing. Just pay your little membership fee and love pops into your inbox. But I can count on one hand how many people I personally know who’ve scored dates with reasonably compatible dudes on those sites, much less a whole relationship. And besides, the guy in the eHarmony commercial is creepy. Talking about he might not be single after their second date?! Yikes.

4. Let me introduce you to my nephew/son/cousin/brother/co-worker/personal trainer/mechanic/dentist/lawyer/butcher/bail bondsman. There are times when two people seem like they would just so totally hit it off that it’s almost stupid to not try to at least introduce them, then sit back and watch the sparks from your romantic handiwork fly. But sometimes folks get desperate — even if you’re not — and all it takes for some lucky dude to become their single friend’s next date is the fact that ... well, he’s a dude.

3. Do you go out to places where you can meet men? Where exactly are these fabled places where I can just pluck men like fresh produce off the trees, ripe and ready for commitment? Gimme an address to plug into my GPS. Rare is the woman whose main dating problem is that she’s holed up in her home. We’re out there but, short of having an experience that would make prophets out of The Weather Girls, it’s not necessarily raining men.

2. Stop focusing on it so much and let it happen. Ah, you got me. Here I was doodling “Janelle loves Anonymous” all over my notebooks. I’m a single mother, I own a business, and I’m not lamenting the absence of a husband in my household. It would’ve been nice to be married, yes. But my life’s work is not unfulfilled because I never had an engagement ring slipped onto my left hand.

1. Gasp! You’re so great/wonderful/amazing. Why are you still single? Even I can never think of an answer snarky enough for this one.

Something folks say that grates your ever-lovin’ last nerve? Offload it here.


Image via ToriMBC/Flickr

commitment, dating, dating mom, love, online dating, single moms

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nonmember avatar JenInNC

doodling “Janelle loves Anonymous”

haha. That was great. Your list is pretty thorough.

lovem... lovemollylab17

Okay, so basically married people should just not say anything to you! I mean I have several single gf who complain non-stop about their love life and wish they were married, and what else can you really say to someone besides some of the things you have listed above? Why don't you give us some tips on what exactly is the right thing to say when they are sitting across from you during lunch for 45 mins bitching about how they don't have a man in their life and how lucky us married people are?

ashjo85 ashjo85

Your snark answer to #1: "Why, are you offering?"


And I partially agree with lovemolly. If you're sitting their bitching to your married friends and getting these responses, you deserve it. What are we supposed to say to you? But if people are just walking up to you out of the blue or making it their personal mission to pair you up without ANY indication that you wanted such a thing, then these statements are incredibly rude.

Colet... Colette923

Can't hurt to let your friends set you up. That's how I met my husband.

nonmember avatar Cat

Reply to #1 with, "Why are you still married?" That will shut them up.

nonmember avatar Liz

I'm not "single" but I'm also not married. I'm 24 and when I tell people I won't be married for at least 3 to 5 years they act like my eggs are going to be dried up. Personally my boyfriend and I don't believe in getting married young. The annoying part is, if I told my sister (who got married at age 20) that, she would take it personally. But she has NO problem treating me like I'm a freak for wanting to wait until I'm older. Oh and we also get comments like "I'm ready to be a grandmother" which I also find unnecessary. While our scenarios are different, I can understand the frustration of people trying to control your love life.

Katriena Young

Some people like being single. And true some people like to complain. But I don't think thats what the writer is doing here. I'm single and some times I whine about being single but since the last 2 guys I dated have cheated on me I could really care less about getting into a relationship right now or any time in the near furture.
The one thing that drives me nuts is when a friend tries to hook me up with someone she knows. When I turn her down about it she says that maybe I need not a guy but a woman. That one burns me. (I have no problem with people who do like thier own sex. I'm just not that way.) I just have enough stress in my life right now to want to add to it by dating.

nonmember avatar Mad Merlot Mama

I don't get the impression she's sitting around, kvetching about her marital status to anyone who'll listen. The one I get ALLLLL the time from my Oh So Holier Than Thou MIL is, "When are you two going to make it right in the eyes of the Lord and get married?" after one too many of these little gems I FINALLY replied, "We've set a date. Funny thing, it coincides with the date of your funeral."

L1558 L1558

LOL!!!! @ MMM.


Author stated exactly how I felt when I was a single mom. I had someone call me an "Unclaimed Blessing" and it burnt me up. Plenty of people claim me as friend/sister/daughter/neighbor/worker/mom so WHY was I unclaimed just because a man hadn't appeared to "make me whole"? Whatever!

Amy Mathis

I love this.  Mostly all i have to do to shut them up right now is remind them that I'm 8 months pregnant... although getting knocked up did get the parents off my back about when they were gonna be grandparents! haha

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