Marrying a person with children is no small thing in this country. For many, it's simply a deal-breaker, something they would never do. And who could blame them? Being a stepparent isn't easy.
Watching one's money disappear in the form of child support each month and having to contend with another woman's child is no treat for even the most magnanimous woman. But what happens when the man you fell in love with had no children and then it comes out later that he does?
That may or may not be the situation Beyonce is in right now with Jay-Z. Rumors are swirling that the rap mogul has a son from nine years ago who he supports and who lives in Trinidad with his model mother. He is the product of an affair, and for years, model Shenelle Scott's ex thought he was the father.
If the story is true, this is terrible for Beyonce, who is currently carrying the couple's first child.
Obviously when you marry someone, you marry their baggage, too. Some husbands leave socks on the floor and have enormous wads of student debt. But this is something else entirely.
I don't care how much you consider a child a "blessing," finding out the man you love fathered a child years before you is a devastating blow. Of course, Beyonce should take heart. Yes, Jay-Z has a son, but they have plenty of money, so the child support will barely be noticeable.
The more important things -- not being the first mother of his child, for instance -- are also not really relevant. Jay-Z didn't even meet this child until he was much older. So all those "firsts" -- first joy at the two pink lines, planning for the nursery, watching his child come into the world -- will be done with his wife. If Beyonce is sad about that, she shouldn't be. Clearly Jay-Z loves her and didn't love Scott.
In the end, her baby gets a big sibling down the road and she gets to do all her "firsts" with her husband and have her perfect, intact family. It's not such a bad trade-off, and if she is sad about it, maybe she will discover that she actually has room in her heart for her husband AND the son he fathered nearly a decade ago.
Would you be sad if you found out your husband had a secret kid?
Image via Pex Cornel/Flickr