Emilia Echolis is the pseudonym for a writer who holds a very controversial financial plan for her future: She plans to marry "rich." And by "rich" she means a man who makes at least $300K a year and has at least $1,000,000 in investments. It's no small task, but she is determined. And she has some time. Did I mention Echolis is only 23?
Hmmm ... I think only a 23-year-old could have written this. Sure, I admire her brazen honesty and there is some truth to some of what she says. Money DOES make a huge difference in terms of comfort and overall happiness. No, you can't "buy happiness," but being poor is a pretty surefire way to be unhappy.
On the other hand, this was clearly written by someone who has a lot to learn about the world. According to Echolis:
You see, “marrying rich” isn’t about draping myself in diamonds and paying for superfluous cosmetic surgeries. It’s about being able to protect myself and my family from whatever expenses the world may throw at us: medical issues, legal problems, retirement. And in doing that, I will still be able to live in comfort, to give my children every advantage, and to seize opportunities like travel, investments, and tickets to The Book of Mormon, but without incurring debt or sacrificing the basics in favor of the luxurious.
These are all good points. But let's also recall that one doesn't need to be "rich" to do those things. Just comfortable. Now, I would be lying if I said these things didn't occur to me in my marriage. And certainly my husband's earning potential crossed my mind. It should, after all. But more than that, what appealed to me was his passion. He was pursuing his PhD in something he loved, and his drive and work ethic were part of what made him appeal to me.
I would have felt the same even if he had been in a less lucrative career or one in which he made even more than he does. It was the passion that did it for me. And yes, money often follows that, but not always.
This seems to be a common theme among women in their early 20s who are looking for mates. They have an idea of this perfect person with very specific pieces (like number of zeroes in his bank account!). As they age, one hopes they start to recognize that those things aren't nearly as important as more general qualities -- kindness, intelligence, and yes, passion.
At 35, my guess is Echolis will be changing her tune significantly. At 40, if she keeps it up, my guess is she will be alone. Wanting to marry for money isn't so horrible. But refusing to bend on the specifics guarantees a life of poverty either financially or emotionally.
Good luck to her. She will need it.
Do you think Echolis is right?
Image via AMagill/Flickr
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Comments 9
On the other hand, I find it difficult (having previously been married to a completely unmotivated leech) to throw rocks at any woman who is realistic about some of the more mundane aspects of marriage...such as having enough money to pay bills because your husband isn't spending all his money on weed and video games. There's got to be a pragmatic happy medium between "marrying rich" and "love is all you need."
There is nothing wrong with wanting your husband to be a good provider for the family, and not a lazy bum who sits around all day drinking beer and playing on the internet, but that's a far cry from demanding that he make a six-figure salary and spend it all on you. Good luck Princess Echolis. You're going to need it. Enjoy your lonely life.
wow - disillusioned much? like other commenters have said, there's nothing wrong with wanting someone who is secure and able to help provide for the family. (notice i said help there, ms. echolis - not SOLELY.) the thing is, if she wants all those things in a husband, then i think his list will probably be something of the following:
long, soft hair, preferably blond or highlighted brunette / tall, or the ability to wear ridiculous heels that make it look that way / size 2. wait, what? get that fatass outta here. size 0, with enormous fake chest and round bottom that are absolutely unnatural / no real job, but be on his arm at a moment's notice - and able to disappear at one too / a tendency to turn the other cheek when he's stepping out on you / a prenup that says you get nothing in the end.
i think that about sums it up. good luck, girl! you're gonna need it. (and some plastic surgery, which you better be saving for now... he's not going to pay you to look good, you gotta start there!)
It's smart to put a high priority on a man being responsible with his money, yeah, but this chick is just ridiculous. She's putting herself in danger of just marrying a guy for his money, deceiving herself into believing she's "in love", and then putting herself and any future kids through an ugly divorce later on down the road. I would never wish divorce on anyone (we've had close friends go through it and it sucks), but I will call it like I see it. I mean come on, this girl is only 23. She's not even old enough to rent a car by herself, and she thinks she knows what the be-all-end-all of a happy life is? Sorry, sweetheart. You've got a long way to go.
I was the opposite. At 21, Iwas so starry-eyed in love with my husband-to-be that I truly didn't care if he was penniless! I'm glad now that he wasn't, or that neither one of us was in debt. 27 years later he manages our money expertly, and can look forward to a comfortable retirement.