If you find yourself endlessly stalking your ex-boyfriend's Facebook page while listening to Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" on repeat, you might be suffering from post-traumatic break-up syndrome.
This tragic (sometimes incurable) syndrome is when women are dumped and left with nothing but an empty container of Ben & Jerry's and a box of Kleenex. Well, good news, ladies. Thanks to Kristin Cavallari and her public split from Jay Culter, you can say sayonara to your sweatpants and Friday nights of watching Titanic alone. The newly single reality star has recently been seen getting cozy with her Dancing With the Stars partner Mark Ballas and we're beginning to think she knows how to play this love game all too well ...
Kristin's no-bullshit heartbreaker reputation was almost completely tarnished when she was dissed and dismissed one week after her engagement party. Talk about ouch. Before that she was the self-proclaimed bitch who never got her heart broken. And the first time she does get it broken, it happens like that? Anxiety attack! While we would have totally understood if Kristin had a public meltdown, gained 20 pounds, and checked into rehab, she opted for a much classier way of handling what could have been the demise of her career.
So, put down that cookie and listen up. It's time to wash your face clean of those mascara tears and follow Kristin's foolproof break-up survival guide.
1. What Kristin did: She bought herself flowers. Who says you need a man to receive a bouquet of roses?
What you should do: Buy yourself romantic gifts. A piece of jewelry, chocolate, you name it. This will fill the void of what's-his-name. The more you start to rely on yourself for happiness, the happier (and more independent) you'll actually become. And besides, waiting for Prince Charming to arrive at your doorstep may leave you waiting a pretty long time.
2. What Kristin did: She accepted an invitation to the Marine Corps Ball with a hot marine.
What you should do: Okay, so maybe you won't get invited to the ball, but you will most likely get invited somewhere. Even if it's that blind date with that guy from Match.com who you've been desperately avoiding. The point is, go! Sitting home gets you nowhere. You'll find yourself over-analyzing things you can't change. The past is in the past, and dwelling on it only prevents you from finding great things in the future.
3. What Kristin did: She went braless. In public. For no reason.
What you should do: You're a single lady now so you need to step up the sexy. Rock a new pair of skinny jeans or try on that revealing tube top that's been hanging in the back of your closet. Do you really think Kristin left home without her bra by accident? No way -- she knows exactly what she's doing, and you need to too.
4. What Kristin did: She hit the gym ... hard. Those ice cream calories aren't going to burn themselves! Not only did she work on her body, she showed it off at the beach on several occasions. (Again, not by accident.)
What you should do: Work out, go shopping, get a new hairstyle. Do whatever it takes to make you feel good about yourself. This "me time" will give you the confidence you need to do #3. When in doubt, prance around in a bikini.
5. What Kristin did: She was spotted having a grand old time at clubs and parties. Break-up? What break-up?
What you should do: Laugh a lot. Like all the time. Because you're like, sooo over it. Now, I know this might sound like confusing advice because of how awful you're feeling right now, but you know what? I'm sure Kristin felt awful too, along with the Jennifer Anistons and the Sandra Bullocks out there. But they're not showing it, at least not in public. Showing that you're hurting only lets your ex know you're vulnerable. Vulnerable women get treated like doormats. And honey, you're nobody's doormat. If you can't find a genuine smile inside you, it's okay to fake it.
6. What Kristin did: She joined the Dancing With the Stars cast and found a cute new boy to flirt with.
What you should do: While your chances of landing on a reality show are slim, there are still tons of ways to get out of your comfort zone. Take a risk and do something you've never done before! Take an acting class, try Zumba or horseback riding lessons. Who knows -- changing up your life might help you run right into Mr. Right ...
And voila! You're a whole new woman. In a few short weeks, it'll feel like you never even had a fiance that you knew for only 10 months! And you'll be on to the next faster than you can say dunzo.
Have you ever had a bad break-up? How did you get over it?