Shocking Study Reveals Why Most Couples Get Divorced

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divorceThere's good news and there's bad news. The good news is that couples are divorcing less these days due to infidelity. Yay! The bad news is that they're divorcing more because they've fallen out of love. Boo. I don't know which is more depressing: Extra-marital affairs or just deciding that you'd rather be alone than have to look at your spouse's face every night for the rest of your life. They both sound kind of awful ... but I gotta say ... I think I'd rather have my husband cheat on me than fall out of love with me.

Cheating is something you can work through. I mean, if bull-headed Miranda Hobbes could forgive Steve, can't we all? (SATC references FTW!) An affair, depending on its circumstances of course, seems like an obstacle between two people that can be overcome. I wouldn't forgive my husband if he had a second family in Arizona or something, but I do think I would be open to forgiveness if his affair was a one-night sorta deal. Of course I'd be devastated (as I hope he would be, too), but there's therapy and counseling and crying and friends that can mend the tear, and who knows, you could emerge stronger and more in love from the harrowing process.

And if you decide to get a divorce then, after the affair, I think it would be an easier pill to swallow than getting a divorce because you've fallen out of love.

If he were to come up to me and say that he's fallen out of love with me, that he's willing to re-enter the dating pool, that he's gotten an apartment downtown, and that I can keep the house because he just doesn't want to be around me anymore, that seems way more harsh. I guess because it's more personal that way -- while cheating would kill me, it wouldn't deflate me as much as someone admitting they're so over me that they'd like to legally separate from my life.

By the way, I've knocked on wood after each sentence, because it's not like either scenario is at all desirable. Ack, I keep going back and forth!

Which divorce scenario would you rather? (Knock wood.)

 

Photo via cosmickitty/Flickr

breakups, divorce

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xavie... xavierlogan09

in my opinion cheating means you don't love your spouse. everyone i've know that has cheated all said they didn't love their spouse. so to me either way the person doesn't love you. i personally think cheating is worse. because they would rather go out and screw someone else then tell you they don't love you anymore. 

hotic... hoticedcoffee

Yeah, pretty much to-may-to/to-mah-to in my book.  Someone who really loves their spouse doesn't cheat.  And I'm sure there will be some who claim there was cheating in their marriage and the marriage "survived" or got stronger. One of my very best friends sings that song, and I just want to scream at her "yeah - because you were willing to be a doormat!

cocob... cocobeannns

Yeah, I don't agree with you. I would much rather my significant other just be honest with me about his feelings. If he is no longer in love with me, then there's more of a chance he's willing to cheat on me. Cheating is not acceptable to me. It will be forgiven, but it won't be forgotten. That's something I'm not willing to work through, I'm sorry. If he's no longer in love with me, I'd rather part ways sooner rather than later. I'd rather be alone than be cheated on.

notjs... notjstasocermom

not surprised, people are very selfish now

Julia... JuliaACollins1

People cheat because they don't love their spouses & I'd rather have someone not love me & divorce me than cheat on me!!!

Stefanie Stephens

If they tell you they aren't in love with you, that's honest. Cheating is a deceit that I would not tolerate. Good bye on both counts!

Vicky Zulli Belveduto

You know the saying.......once a cheater.....always a cheater?  How can you ever trust someone again who cheated on you?  I 'd rather have the honesty that he didn't love me anymore and just move on.  I fell out of love with my ex.........and left........and then heard about his cheating which I always suspected.  Why stay with someone who no longer wants you?  


 

Judy Anaya

Totally disagree w this view.. cheating is cheating. If you fall out of love.. you cant help that.


With cheating... everyone loses!! Whomever wrote this article is obviously NOT married!!!


and  I bet cheating has decreased due to "cell " phone records and "GPS" on your phone... ha

SisBoom SisBoom

Cheating is not allowed

nonmember avatar genny

Uh not what I wanted to read. My husband and I have been going thru a rough time this summer. It came to an end REAL HARD a few weeks ago. I poin blank asked him if he was cheating. Yeah, like hes gonna admit it. I've looked thru bank records, texts, etc. Things didnt add up but they DIDNT point to cheating. He finally told me he thinks hes no longer in love with me ( We were having problems that he said lead to this but really?). Ok ladies. I was ready, as ready as I could be for the cheating thing. But this??? THIS???? I simply cant get over it. He says he wants to stay married and work thru it. Im like, work thru what? Im devesated. Now Im left dazed and confused. So ask me again which is worse. Is there a third option?

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