Never Put Friends Before Your Husband


Remember when mama used to say, "Always put your friends ahead of any man"? Well, forget that advice and listen to this: If you put your husband behind your friends, you will find yourself without a husband.

A recent piece in the Daily Mail advises women to always pick their friends over their spouses. While I agree with the basic premise -- friends are so, so important -- the idea that a woman would prioritize anyone -- yes, even children -- above her husband isn't all that great.

When a person gets married, they should be marrying their best friend, and when they do, that person becomes like family. So why would you prioritize anyone above him? The writer says:

True friends are those who will always rally round when you are in trouble, or sick, or you need a good laugh or a new dress or even just to download your day. Your friends are there when you need them. Guaranteed. But with your partner, you just never can tell.

Certainly I deeply value my female friendships, but there is no one I value like my spouse. And that is how it should be. To enter into a marriage thinking it could potentially end and one should keep their friends around "just in case" is so cynical, it begs a simple question: Why get married at all?

My husband is everything to me, and I have his back and he has mine. When I have falling-outs with friends, he is there to tell me how much they suck. When I want to be sad about family drama, he is holding my hand. When I have a bad day at work, it's my husband I call. But when I want to see some chick flick he hates, I go with my sister or a friend. When I want to shop or just be away from the family, I have plenty of girlfriends, but for the important stuff, my man remains the number one.

And I think that is the right way to be. Children thrive on seeing happy parents. The relationship between the parents is the base of a healthy family. It's the most important part of many people's lives. How does friendship really compare to that?

Do you value your husband or friends more?

Image via Scarleth White/Flickr



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miche... micheledo

I agree with you!

Problem is you could turn that ladies advice around.  There is NO guarantee that your friend will always be there.  Friends end relationships all the time.  I was a LOT more careful about picking my husband then I have been with choosing a friend.  A husband is the one who will always be there for you and have your back.  Friends may come and go, and sometimes we are blessed with a friend that will stick with you through anything!  My husband is THAT kind of friend!

momve... momversuswild

God first...then family...That is the only way to live.  During recent hard times, friends that I thought would NEVER abandon me DID.  I find that people are great; as long as you don't really begin to count on them for anything.

Creat... Createchoas

I defenitly value my husband more than any friend. Micheledo said it best, friends don't always stick around. I've lots tons of "best friends forever" for various reasons. My husband is the bestest best friend I've ever had though lol. He will always be there for me and vice versa.

banan... banana-bear

Do I value my friends over my husband? No.

Do I value my children over my husband? ABSOLUTELY!!! No human on this earth is more important than my kids.

I love my husband to the moon and back, but my children will always come before him. And I don't care what anyone thinks about that :oP

xavie... xavierlogan09

i don't value my fiance over my child. My son is more important than anyone or anything in the world. The divorce rate is so high in this country. Most people will end up without a husband. Your child will always be there will a man might not. I value my fiance above my friends and other family. We both agree our son is valued above one another.

navyma23 navyma23

My hubs def comes before friends. I've been put in a few situations where I've had to chose one over the other and I chose my husband everytime. He is my best friend. 

Torto... Tortoise77

I am totally with you on this one. My husband is my best friend. He is better than any friend I have. I have more fun with my husband than with my girlfriends... our son is our priority. First comes our son then us. then family and last friends.  

Bobbi... BobbieKay29

I completely agree with you. If you read the article the writer has been burned pretty badly by her ex and she continues on to "prove her point" by quoting other divorced friends.  I have divorced friends who at this point feel the same way about friends being more important, but in reality friends can come and go even faster than husbands.  I have only 2 friends that I've known longer than my hubby but trust me after a week on vacation with them I'm ready to go home to be with my hubby.  

Marjc... Marjchaos

My friends understand that my marriage is my priority.  That is why they are my friends.  Friends who badmouth my husband or expect me to drop everything to hang with them, even my responsibilites, don't stay friends long. My friends are important to me, and my husband understands that, but perhaps he handles my devotion to them so well, because he is secure in his own importance to my life.

MrsCh... MrsChurch

Your friends are there when you need them, but with your partner, you just never can tell? Seriously? What a load of bull. My husband is there for me 100% of the time, and I certainly CAN tell. While I love my friends to death, I trust my husband more than any of them combined. Whoever wrote that is a complete f-ing idiot. Also, my daughter does come before my husband, if I had to rank order of importance (thankfully, I don't).

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