The Forbidden Sex Act You Should Try at Least Once


couple kissing in bedI don't know when it started, but every time I look at a calendar, I'm reminded that there's a cause somewhere that needs my attention. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. April is National STD Awareness Month. May is Masturbation May. This month? Raise your glass, minus the "g" and the "l", cause it's bottoms up.

My friend and fellow sex educator Ducky DooLittle calls it "the equal opportunity orifice." And by it, I'm talking about the bum, and the hole we all have, whether we're gay, straight, or saving it 'til marriage -- okay, that's a really bad excuse. August is anal sex month.

More from The Stir: 'Crazy' Bride Walks Down the Aisle to Shockingly Raunchy Song

And yes, August is almost over, but don't tighten up you butt cheeks just yet. If you're feeling adventurous, anal pleasure can drive you wild. Everyone should try it at least once. Here are a few tips on how to celebrate, pleasurably, before the month is out. 

Anal sex hurts because you're just not ready, and other times it hurts because you're just not into it. Either way, rule one: Assk first. 

After you've asked, or been asked, before you plunge on in, remember the butt has lots of really sensitive nerve endings, both in and around the entrance, so don't head to that hole straight away. We all need to get warmed up first.

Now, in order to get warmed up, you want, and need, lube. The butt is not like the vagina, it doesn't get wet on its own. Lube is essential and you want to find a sexual lubricant that won't dry out to quickly. Silicone lubes are a good bet for butt play.

More from The Stir: One of the Most Detested Sex Acts Is Good for Women

A happy bum is a relaxed bum, so have your partner start by teasing around your opening, using the pad of his thumb or any other finger. He should gently circle around the entrance to the area. Only after the butt relaxes can you go deeper with comfort and ease. Honestly, we all walk around with tight butt holes. It you think about your bum, and try to relax it, you can, but otherwise, if you do nothing, you'll notice your butt is tight. Try relaxing your bum, anytime of the day or night, even if that's all you do for anal sex August. Heck, awareness is the first step.

Another thing to know is NOTHING goes up the bum if it's not attached to a body part or if it doesn't have a flared base. A flared base means the object is smaller in the middle and larger at the bottom, so it can't accidentally slip up inside of you. Light bulbs and flashlights (yes, this really happens) are perfect examples of what not to use, while a butt plug is a perfect example of what to use. 

More from The Stir: 11 Hottest Bisexual Celebrities

And if you're not ready, but he is, anal stimulation does not make a man gay. In fact, massaging the prostate (which you gain VIP access to through the butt) is one of the best ways to keep the prostate healthy. So, if you're not ready to go there, and he is, go there ... on him.

What scares you most about anal sex? Have you had it?


Image via kanir/Flickr



To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Nonas... Nonasthebomb

That's one thing I have no desire to ever try. I'm just shocked folks would post their pics and let the whole world know. Guess I'm old school.

nonmember avatar Sarah

My husband is an excellent partner, even when it comes to anal sex! It's all about having a good partner who's willing to listen and make sure you're comfortable! We do it fairly regularly, and it's wonderful, I'd highly recommend it if your partner is easy to talk to! ;)

nonmember avatar sara

Well, I have worked in the surgical area (pre- and post-op) for over 15 years, and all I can say is that as anal sex has gotten more popular, we are seeing WAY more surgical repairs of the anus in young women. It used to be rare to see a 20-something woman coming in for a repair of an anal tear or anal fissure. Now it is quite common. Don't have stats, but I know what we see.

Weeze... WeezeeSRN

I used to think I would never do anal, not because I thought it was gross or would hurt or anything like that, but I thought that it was just not for me.  My husband and I have been together for 8 years now and over time we have advanced from some light anal pressure to fingering and now full anal sex at times.  I have to say that the first time his fingers traveled there I was a bit confused, but  after a few seconds, it was extremely pleasurable and that led me to wanting him to have anal sex with me. The first time we did, it was even more pleasurable, and gets me turned on even more than vaginal sex in some ways.  I still want vaginal sex to have that intense orgasm, but  anal sex is extremely satisfying too.  I never thought I would enjoy it, but I really do!

Richard Shirley

No Thanks ( to each his own ) Its bad enough when my doc is checking me out and she is cute

nonmember avatar poster

My neighbor used to enjoy anal sex. It's actually the fullness that a woman likes because her vaginal canal is a bit too loose to feel the fullness. She said the orgasms only come if stimulated at the clitoris or inside the vagina. Orgasms do not come from the anus. She has to have surgery on her anus now from all that butt sex.

James H Hall

lick it first that really makes the female feel good

nonmember avatar Lisa

Newbies, try laying on your side (spooning) for initial penetration. It takes ALL of the pain out of it. Also, a tiny bit of Anbesol (numbing agent for mouth pain) can be used BUT BE CAREFUL YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO FEEL WHAT'S HAPPENING DOWN THERE. Never get too ruff or too dry when practicing this art. Condoms are a MUST for playing in the backyard. It can get muddy back there. :o

Tom Kenney

there i thought it was necrophilia.. oh well

Tom Kenney

go august..

221-230 of 360 comments First 2122232425 Last