This Might Scare You From Online Dating for Good


mechanical heartOver 10 million Americans have tried online dating. I'm one of them, although I found it to be too much work for too little reward. Every guy I've ever gone out with as a result of online dating was more or less like he seemed on his profile, which I guess makes me lucky. Or maybe it's just that I never met many people online (I think it was seven total). Still, I wasn't lucky enough because when I think back to most dates, the best part of them was the food. 

I'm actually really fine without online dating, and I do think it's great for people who have limited options and small social networks. What I'm not okay with is what a new study by Michigan State professor Nicole Ellison and her colleagues says about online dating. Apparently, of the 562 people surveyed, online daters are okay with various profile misrepresentations. Maybe that's why I don't like the whole online thing. It's full of liars.

Ellison told the WSJ health blog:

Online daters say certain kinds of “misrepresentations” are okay. Users say that since you won’t meet the person until some point in the future, it’s acceptable to embellish a little. You can say you’re 10 pounds lighter because you could be by the time you meet. 

The way I see it, I would rather you say I'm 10 pounds heavier but actively losing weight (honesty! and hope!). Why not be honest and confident in who you are right now, from the start? Because confidence, not 10 pounds, is the sexier.

Besides, one of the most important lessons I've learned in love is that if someone doesn't love you for who you are now, dump them before it's too late. There is someone who will love you for who you are, and help you reach your true potential. 

Yes, we're not all good with the words, but we can be honest about that, and be honest about who we are. Sharing less is more, until you meet someone anyway. And if you are afraid that people won't visit your profile because it's not as polished as the next gal's, go out and write emails to the guys you want to date.

Either way, misrepresentation is not okay. 

Have you ever dated someone who misrepresented themselves online? 

Image via notahandbag/Flickr

dating, lying, love, romance tip, online dating


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dirti... dirtiekittie

well sure i have, way back when i was dating... i met plenty of folks who were not 'as described'... but that was ok because (hold on to your hats for this one!) - i got to know their personality before we ever went out. and if he was a funny guy who was a little heavier than he said, or if he knew how to make a mean dinner at home but had a more prominent widow's peak than he implied... well who cares? i get that the blogger is going for 'honesty, confidence, hope..." etc but that's not always how things work on teh interwebz. and for the record, online dating is for much more than just those with "limited social circles". 1 in 5 relationships now begin online - and i'm sure some of those people have plenty of folks in their lives.

Melis... Melissa042807

I met a guy who said he was three inches taller than he actually was. I was an inch taller than him in flats. That was not the only issue - we didn't click at all anyway - but it sure didn't sit well with me that he hadn't been entirely honest about something.

That's the reality of online dating, though. It's easy to idealize our online personas.

Jeffrey Burns

I've dated countless women online and had my share of drama as a result. lol So the answer is of course! I can't count the number of people who put up the very best pictures of themselves, knowing that's not how they look everyday. Or the one lady who said she was single but had to excuse her self every 5 minute because a "friend" kept calling. It goes with the territory and just like offline you take the good with the bad. And honestly it's really not all that bad. No offense but I think the title was more for shock value more than anything else.

cherylam cherylam

I met my wonderful husband on line 4 1/2 years ago...he was so honest with his profile I married him 5 weeks later, and it's one of the best decisions I ever made.

nonmember avatar JustJ

Do not get me started on this subject. I have met scammers that want me to send them money. I have met stalkers. And mostly I have talked to men that want a strickly NSA/FWB sex only relationship and this is on a well known DATING SITE not a sex site !! I finally went after a man who I found to be attractive in his own way, (handsome to me in everyway) his profile was written in such a positive way it made me think he had such a happy go lucky out look on life and if anything I wrote him and said I just want you for my friend. Well we have been "friends" for 8 months now and starting to take our relationship to the next level. I do not know what our future holds but I do we will be "best" friends for the rest of our lives. I had to kiss alot of frogs before I found my "prince" and let me tell ya'll it was ALOT of work. Would I do it again HELL NO !!! NEVER !!!

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