Over 10 million Americans have tried online dating. I'm one of them, although I found it to be too much work for too little reward. Every guy I've ever gone out with as a result of online dating was more or less like he seemed on his profile, which I guess makes me lucky. Or maybe it's just that I never met many people online (I think it was seven total). Still, I wasn't lucky enough because when I think back to most dates, the best part of them was the food.
I'm actually really fine without online dating, and I do think it's great for people who have limited options and small social networks. What I'm not okay with is what a new study by Michigan State professor Nicole Ellison and her colleagues says about online dating. Apparently, of the 562 people surveyed, online daters are okay with various profile misrepresentations. Maybe that's why I don't like the whole online thing. It's full of liars.
Ellison told the WSJ health blog:
Online daters say certain kinds of “misrepresentations” are okay. Users say that since you won’t meet the person until some point in the future, it’s acceptable to embellish a little. You can say you’re 10 pounds lighter because you could be by the time you meet.
The way I see it, I would rather you say I'm 10 pounds heavier but actively losing weight (honesty! and hope!). Why not be honest and confident in who you are right now, from the start? Because confidence, not 10 pounds, is the sexier.
Besides, one of the most important lessons I've learned in love is that if someone doesn't love you for who you are now, dump them before it's too late. There is someone who will love you for who you are, and help you reach your true potential.
Yes, we're not all good with the words, but we can be honest about that, and be honest about who we are. Sharing less is more, until you meet someone anyway. And if you are afraid that people won't visit your profile because it's not as polished as the next gal's, go out and write emails to the guys you want to date.
Either way, misrepresentation is not okay.
Have you ever dated someone who misrepresented themselves online?
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