Three Months Is Too Soon to Get Remarried After Divorce

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Mark-Paul Gosselaar -- Zack from Saved by the Bell -- finalized his divorce from his wife of 14 years just this past May, but he is already engaged again, this time to a beautiful, blonde advertising executive. And while it's certainly great that he has found love again, it seems like three months is an awfully short amount of time to wait before getting engaged to another woman.

Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment, right? Gosselaar is far from the first person to ever jump back into one so quickly, but when a marriage fails, there has to be a bit of grief, right? On both sides.

Even when you're the one who ends the relationship, there still needs to be a bit of single time to mourn, reflect, and learn from the mistakes in the first marriage. It's all part of the process of not repeating them. This is especially true when there are kids involved.

Unless the other person was the reason the marriage ended (which is a whole other post), it seems dating and such should wait until after the family has healed a bit. A breakup is hard on the two adults doing it, especially after more than a decade, but on the kids, it can be life-altering and devastating. Isn't that reason enough to cool it on the dating front?

Gosselaar's children are young and maybe he wants them to have a family again. That is a lovely and sweet sentiment, but for the kids, it would probably be nicer to have some time to adjust, grieve, and get used to the idea of their family being apart and THEN start in with the new spouse.

It just seems like a surefire way to start building resentment. One year, two years, or even a bit longer down the line, sure he could and should get remarried if that's what he wants, but three months? It just seems like he is moving way too fast.

Do you think there is a good time to wait after divorce?

 

Image via Denise Cross/Flickr

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JAFE JAFE

I'd say if and when you find love, you should grab it and not let go. Also, we don't know this man or this family so how in the world are we supposed to say what's right or wrong? It's so completely not our business. I can't stand judgements like this one for a celeb that we really don't hear much about. He clearly values his privacy.

Melis... Melissa042807

My opinion is that 1) everyone's time frame for moving on for divorce is different, BUT 2) dating should be put off until the divorce is final, and 3) take the time to learn what your own time frame is - don't just assume your time frame is short and rush into something, because that could have disaterous results and isn't that what we're all trying to avoid repeating?


I'm not going to make assumptions about what's going on in this guy's life. But clearly he was dating and proposing to his soon-to-be-2nd-wife while still legally married to his first wife and that, to me, is not cool. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

nonmember avatar ajl2011

I agree for anyone who has a breakup or divorce take time for yourself it's hard and before i even jump into another relationship let alone marriage i defitinely do not want to have baggage I would want to walk into a new relationship new and refreshed. Some people not all want to hurry and find another mate because it feels like you need someone he was married a very long time. Hopefully he's doing it for all the right reasons!

Pua Smith

My sister's boyfriend's divorce is being finalzed today, they are getting married September 10th. They've been together for nearly two years and have a baby together. He  was separated for YEARS before he met her, so he's been single and didn't leave his wife for her, in fact his wife was the cheating one.

nonmember avatar SoCalGirl

Speaking from experience I am currently engaged and my first divorce isn't even finalized but neither is his. The reason being that both of us had been separated from our spouses for over a year before we got together AND we have known each other since we were 3 years old.

I agree with the above comments about how we can be so quick to judge when none of us

really know all the details let alone the parties involved.  All I know is that my fiancé and I are finally with the person we were always meant to be with. It just took us a little linger to figure it out and sometimes the circumstances surrounding the situation aren't always the best. But when you find your one true love (the one that has been staring you in the face for the past 32 years) then you have to just go with it.

Pua Smith

Oh, and he and his soon-to-be ex didn't have any kids together either, so it matters even less.

dirti... dirtiekittie

oh boo. i'm just sad i didn't get any zack morris before he settled down again! lol ;)

easun... easunshine

How long have they been separated? I mean, some people are married for 1O years but are only living as a married couple for 5 of those 1O. If it's a situation like that and they've been estranged for awhile, then it should really be looked at as a longer time period than 3 months.

Jessica Barnett

My divorce was filed last month, but my soon-to-be-ex had his girlfriend living in OUR old home 2 months before that!  I have no problem if people want to set themselves up for a bad situation but when there are kids involved I hate to see it happen so quickly.  I worry about how my 4yo daughter will react when the new relationship inevitably goes badly...

momto... momtolittleg

Where I live, you have to be separated for a year before a divorce can be finalized.  My divorce was final in November and I was engaged the following July.  I'd been dating the guy since the previous July (yes, while I was still TECHNICALLY married).  So it wasn't a big deal to me.  Of course, there weren't any kids involved either.  But I do think you have to look at how look the original couple has been separated.

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