A Horry County, South Carolina woman preemptively called the cops after she slapped her husband across the face. He was reportedly going to make the call himself, but she wanted to beat him to the punch. The woman spoke with the 911 dispatcher for a couple of minutes and explained in the sweetest Southern accent (OK that's your cue to start reading this with a Southern accent -- think coastal draw, not mountain twang) that oh dear, she just simply had to slap him because, well officer, he just wouldn't have sex with her. And oh my, it's been months since they'd done it, and she was just sick of it, ya hear? Plain sick of it.
Guess they call it Horry County, not Horny County, for a reason. Video of the call after the jump.
The woman says that this isn't the first time he's denied her sex, and that she just called the cops herself because he was going to do it anyway. She even predicts the charges: "I guess it would be a CDV since I touched him." (CDV = Criminal Domestic Violence.) Whoa. Someone's a little eager to get arrested. Maybe she thinks she'd get sexual action in prison? (Oof.)
While the woman is clearly a bit unstable and maybe likes detention centers (why else would one call in their own crime?), I don't know who's more at fault: The husband for withholding his goods, or the wife for slapping him for it. Violence is never the answer (unless it's Christmas shopping time) but I can't say I blame the lady. Rejection combined with horniness can be an explosive combination.
I am a little confused though by the caller's outfit -- she says she's wearing a sweatshirt and boxer shorts. Now sure that can be sexy, but instead of slapping her man, maybe she could've tried getting his attention with some provocative lingerie. Or some scented candles? Maybe a little Barry White? A bucket of biscuits and gravy? No? Are we not?
The husband denies that she slapped him, but didn't mention the whole no-sex thing.
This sounds like one big celibate couple who's got a ton to work through, but god bless the Internet for bringing their story into our lives. Hope the wife gets laid soon! Wouldn't want her to go on a crime spree.
LISTEN to the 911 call:
Photo via YouTube