A Horry County, South Carolina woman preemptively called the cops after she slapped her husband across the face. He was reportedly going to make the call himself, but she wanted to beat him to the punch. The woman spoke with the 911 dispatcher for a couple of minutes and explained in the sweetest Southern accent (OK that's your cue to start reading this with a Southern accent -- think coastal draw, not mountain twang) that oh dear, she just simply had to slap him because, well officer, he just wouldn't have sex with her. And oh my, it's been months since they'd done it, and she was just sick of it, ya hear? Plain sick of it.
Guess they call it Horry County, not Horny County, for a reason. Video of the call after the jump.
The woman says that this isn't the first time he's denied her sex, and that she just called the cops herself because he was going to do it anyway. She even predicts the charges: "I guess it would be a CDV since I touched him." (CDV = Criminal Domestic Violence.) Whoa. Someone's a little eager to get arrested. Maybe she thinks she'd get sexual action in prison? (Oof.)
While the woman is clearly a bit unstable and maybe likes detention centers (why else would one call in their own crime?), I don't know who's more at fault: The husband for withholding his goods, or the wife for slapping him for it. Violence is never the answer (unless it's Christmas shopping time) but I can't say I blame the lady. Rejection combined with horniness can be an explosive combination.
I am a little confused though by the caller's outfit -- she says she's wearing a sweatshirt and boxer shorts. Now sure that can be sexy, but instead of slapping her man, maybe she could've tried getting his attention with some provocative lingerie. Or some scented candles? Maybe a little Barry White? A bucket of biscuits and gravy? No? Are we not?
The husband denies that she slapped him, but didn't mention the whole no-sex thing.
This sounds like one big celibate couple who's got a ton to work through, but god bless the Internet for bringing their story into our lives. Hope the wife gets laid soon! Wouldn't want her to go on a crime spree.
LISTEN to the 911 call:
Photo via YouTube
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Comments 15
"No? Are we not?" hahaha lindsay is that Archer or Frank Gifford?
This couple needs to just break up, stat. This is depressing.
Not sure how it could be his fault. He deserves to be in control of when he has sex just like she does. I don't think this is funny either. A woman abusing her man isn't funny or hilarious.
Maybe this man had a physical problem going on that interferes with an erection. You know how men are reluctant to talk about things like that. I am surprised the 9-1-1 dispatcher didn't ask about it.
Let's read this with the genders switched, and see how funny it is then, shall we? "I don't know who's more at fault: The wife for withholding her goods, or the husband for slapping her for it."
Not so hilarious any more, is it?
And it wasn't in real life, either.
I agree with everyone else....a man has just as much right to say no as a woman.
What a waste of resources! Someone could be dying from her wasting their time! How stupid!
*giggle snort*