It will never cease to amaze me how men can be obese, beastly hairy, or have horrible body odor and still think they're total sex gods, while we women punish ourselves regularly, worrying that we're not worthy of great sex if we should have, say, the smallest bit of cellulite on our thighs or faintest belly stretch marks. Sure, there are exceptions to either rule, but for the most part, I'm sure we women are much more prone to allow body insecurities to dampen a good time in bed.
And that's just a shame.
One woman named Kerry Hiatt, like many women, considered her body "the stuff of nightmares." She says for the first year of her marriage, her husband never saw her naked in the daylight. Then, she went to a nudist/naturist resort and somehow, the experience of seeing other normal people in the buff made her more confident about her body. She even realized that spending so much time beating herself up and avoiding being seen in the nude was a total waste of time.
Obviously, Hiatt's experience isn't necessarily the right prescription for every woman. But it does raise an interesting question. If we saw on a more regular basis that other women have flab, stretch marks, cellulite, droopy parts, etc., would we be better able to realize that we're not alone, and that these "flaws" are actually just what make us special, beautiful, and sexy?
Take porn, for instance. Airbrushed babes used to dominate the industry, but lately, it seems like at least men seem to be demanding more amateur clips. They want real-looking women, not plastic Barbie dolls with doctor-crafted DDs and perfectly waxed hoo-has. On some level, that definitely makes me feel better! The porn industry would do well to continue in that direction, to prevent men's and women's standards of sexy from being so skewed.
It's just plain sad that women like Hiatt (pre-nudist vacay), women I've interviewed for magazine stories, and even close friends of mine tell me they can't enjoy sex anymore because of their body worries and woes. Or that lights-off is the only option for them. A recent study even found that 52 percent of women in the U.K. are so down on their bodies that they avoid having sex with their partners. That's heartbreaking. We deserve better from ourselves. And we must do our best to get over it, either by leaning on our partners for support or digging deep to figure out what's going on in our own heads. Because, seriously, no body insecurity is worth throwing away a healthy, happy, and hot sex life.
Do you feel like body hang-ups hamper your sex life?
Image via Dani Nofal/Flickr