Obnoxious Break-Up Email Will Scare Online Daters Silly

Maressa Brown
9

man typing on a laptopDating is difficult. Online dating is a whole different world of difficult. It's just like anything else on the world wide web -- where people write comments they'd never say in the real world -- but your heart is on the line. That's why I feel for a woman featured in Gawker today under the pseudonym "Ms. Lonelyheart." Ms. Lonelyheart went on only THREE dates with a guy who is referred to as OompaLoompa. They met on OkCupid (which makes your online dating experience more annoying colorful by giving you little statistic-spewing quizzes), and that's where he sent her an incredibly obnoxious, ridiculous break-up email.

In his novel-long letter, OompaLoompa critiques Lonelyheart as if a.) she's a bad Lifetime TV series he was forced to watch when there was nothing else on his sorry cable package or b.) he's a professor grading her on a crappy term paper.

He writes, "I think Cupid's matching system works best if the user answers more questions. I noticed you only answered 92 questions—so I'd recommend answering more." Then, he digs into her for having a different "lifestyle," writing, "I think I work longer hours, party much more, go out more, sleep less and probably exercise more than you."

WTF? Who does this guy think he is??? And what kind of woman does he think he's going to score with this anal retentive, hyper-critical Woody Allen-ish behavior? Wow.

Thankfully, not everyone lookin' for love on the Internet is completely batsh--t crazy. However, this OkCupid breakup letter certainly serves as proof that other Lonelyhearts out there need to BEWARE.

What do you make of this online breakup letter?

 


Image via Elvert Barnes/Flickr

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