Communication, or the lack thereof, is easily the culprit in 124 percent of failed relationships. Now, what was failed to be communicated? Well, that varies from couple to couple. Between me and you, I actually think that men and women communicate just fine. The problem comes in that we can't understand the communicating that each other is doing.
Or just plain don't like it.
For instance, this evening a friend of mine went on a slight Twitter rant about some chap she's obviously dated at least once asking her when he could see her again. That bothered her because if he really wanted to see her again, he'd just ask her out on another date.
Before we delve, she's right. This dude could easily have just asked her out again. Let's be clear. And now let's delve.
Women's biggest fear during the dating and mating process seems to be getting played for the fool. Great poets and philosopher kings The Main Ingredient eloquently stated that everybody plays the fool, sometimes. True and inevitable as that may be, women seem to attempt to do everything in their power to avoid this foregone conclusion. Because ya know, nobody wants to look stupid.
Nobody. So why wouldn't men who are interested in a woman, for whatever reason, carry themselves in the same manner? And I'm not talking about the guy with nothing to lose who will try to sleep with you and your mother. Nope, I'm talking about the guys women actually want to date. Those are guys with something to lose so they ALSO don't like being played for a fool, either.
Back to our conversation about my friend. So the guy is asking when he can see her again. That achieves two purposes. One, she explicitly tells him when she is available, effectively killing two birds with one stone: a) she is interested in seeing him again (win) and b) he knows when he should plan on seeing her (scheduling win). There is also another option. Her response can be, "Well, when would you like to see me again?" which puts the ball all the way back in his court but it establishes that, yep, she wants to see him again.
Everybody wins here and it comes from a simple statement made by a guy that intended to start off a cutesy conversation with flirtations and plans being hatched. But my friend, and many other women probably, immediately get annoyed by such "games." But the entire dating game is a game. Unfortunately we all get caught up in it.
I understand women's frustrations, trust me I do. I have three sisters, two mothers, and my cat is all feline. Sometimes though, in order to win at whatever game you're playing, you need to understand how the other person is playing.
That way, we can all just play nude Twister later.
Hmm ... no wonder people in relationships are happy to be out of the dating game.
What else gets lost in translation between man and woman?
Image via Funkdooby/Flickr