It seems like every year an article or book on new! sex! positions! is published, giving us all ideas for exciting! innovative! ways! we can hang from the chandelier, back our partner against a wall, or do it doggie style in the shed. The truth is, these books keep being written because they sell. I know. I once made a DVD tauting 101 Positions for Lovers.
Don't get me wrong, it's great to attempt sex while playing a game of wheelbarrow or standing at opposite ends of a door frame, but really, how often does anyone do that? Honestly, standing on my head is not only not the best sex I can have, but hello head rush.
Sex position books and videos do a good job at having us believe that if we don't bend into a pretzel, we have the most boring sex ever. But, like most women, I prefer sex in certain positions. In fact, there are four basic sex positions I really enjoy. They're probably the ones you like, too.
Missionary, woman on top (aka cowgirl/reverse cowgirl), spooning, and doggie style.
I'll even go as far as to say some women love standing shower sex, but showers are, in my opinion, meant for getting clean more often than they are for getting down. If you read between the lines in the sex-of-the-day books, you can decode what's really happening. It has less to do with the bold moves, and more to do with the small strokes.
Let me explain.
It's the little lifts, lowers, leg squeezes, and positioning of our hands and feet that make a move work well or fail big. So instead of trying to get your partner into piledriver (NSFW), why not try some realistic tweaks that can turn your tried and true sex positions into best! new! sex! you've had in a while.
Missionary. Change where you place your hands. For instance, he generally places his hands on either side of your neck. Instead, have him place both his hands to the left of your head. Have him angle his body that way too. Then try the right. Even if it feels like a small change to you, it can make a big difference.
Woman on Top. For a long time I didn't get what was so great about controlling the angle, depth, and level of penetration. Woman on top seemed like a lot of unnecessary leg work and although I've always enjoyed reverse cowgirl (I have a thing for feet), I wasn't very forward thinking about this position. That all changed with my last boyfriend who introduced me to what we affectionately dubbed "the silk screen." While I was on top of him, facing forward, he would place his fingers on both sides of my butt cheeks and press down, like he was silk-screening a shirt. The pressure and downward movement kept both of us feeling the friction and had me screaming for more.
Spooning. Besides spooning sex being all cuddly, I love spooning because it's the kind of sex you can wake up and do without worrying about Godzilla breath. Not only can spooning sex be super intimate without the kissing, but it's also a great G-spot position. Use a pillow (or two) under your side to see how that lifts more than your mood.
Doggie Style. Ah, doggie. The closer position that brings many a man to his knees. Not only does this position help him feel like the big man on campus, but a slight arch in the back or a bend in the arms can make a big difference. Work on how you position your legs as you play with the arch in your back, too. Instead of your legs being inside his, use your legs outside of his, to clench his thighs together. Or scissor your legs for another sensation.
Are you going to try one of these tonight? What's your favorite sex position with a twist?
Image via bailoo/Flickr


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Comments 20
Thanks for the great read, but I am a bit shocked that this picture that was placed on here! I am no prude by anymeans, but CM has had a longstanding policy of discriminating against (removing) pictures of breastfeeing moms, but allows a picture of an orgy with either 4 women, or three women and a man. Shame on you CM!!!!! Lift the ban on breastfeeding pics!!!!
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Thanks for the great read, but I am a bit shocked that this picture that was placed on here! I am no prude by anymeans, but CM has had a longstanding policy of discriminating against (removing) pictures of breastfeeing moms, but allows a picture of an orgy with either 4 women, or three women and a man. Shame on you CM!!!!! Lift the ban on breastfeeding pics!!!!
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I Totally agree with this. WTH CM??
Double standard much?
Goodness. That is an offensive picture. An article on sex is one thing and is fine since we are all Moms...we know what sex is. But, that? That is not sex, that's just wrong and nasty and if you have issues with naked baby butt pictures and mother's breastfeeding pics, then have a problem with that picture.
Thank you for a great article Jamye Waxman. I agree with you, unless you are a contortionist, the basic positions are the best. It is about making the most out of what you have to work with. As for all the comments on the pic you chose to go along with this article, It is a great piece of art depicting a position from the Karma Sutra, and is perfect for making your point.
You're going to click on an article about Sex Positions, and read about them, but get all offended about a stupid stone carving?! I'm so tired of people being offended by every damn thing. Go watch the Disney Channel with your kids, if you can't handle adult stuff.
Now as to the question: I've been with my DH for 21 years and we've tried a LOT of stuff - and really, after a while, it's not that you're getting "boring" for not doing the difficult stuff, it's that doing the stuff that always works makes more sense! Have you read the studies about imaging done on women's brains when they climax? Women have to literally turn off a part of their brains to get there (men - I'm wondering if that part is ever on...) and if you're worried about slipping off the countertop or if one hip starts to hurt because you aren't a friggin' contortionist, that part of your brain is never going to stop thinking and you're never going to get anywhere. Figure out what works for you, then work it.