Boring Sex Positions Are Better Than Adventurous Ones

Jamye Waxman

It seems like every year an article or book on new! sex! positions! is published, giving us all ideas for exciting! innovative! ways! we can hang from the chandelier, back our partner against a wall, or do it doggie style in the shed. The truth is, these books keep being written because they sell. I know. I once made a DVD tauting 101 Positions for Lovers.

Don't get me wrong, it's great to attempt sex while playing a game of wheelbarrow or standing at opposite ends of a door frame, but really, how often does anyone do that? Honestly, standing on my head is not only not the best sex I can have, but hello head rush.

Sex position books and videos do a good job at having us believe that if we don't bend into a pretzel, we have the most boring sex ever. But, like most women, I prefer sex in certain positions. In fact, there are four basic sex positions I really enjoy. They're probably the ones you like, too.

Missionary, woman on top (aka cowgirl/reverse cowgirl), spooning, and doggie style.

I'll even go as far as to say some women love standing shower sex, but showers are, in my opinion, meant for getting clean more often than they are for getting down. If you read between the lines in the sex-of-the-day books, you can decode what's really happening. It has less to do with the bold moves, and more to do with the small strokes.

Let me explain.

It's the little lifts, lowers, leg squeezes, and positioning of our hands and feet that make a move work well or fail big. So instead of trying to get your partner into piledriver (NSFW), why not try some realistic tweaks that can turn your tried and true sex positions into best! new! sex! you've had in a while.

Missionary. Change where you place your hands. For instance, he generally places his hands on either side of your neck. Instead, have him place both his hands to the left of your head. Have him angle his body that way too. Then try the right. Even if it feels like a small change to you, it can make a big difference.

Woman on Top. For a long time I didn't get what was so great about controlling the angle, depth, and level of penetration. Woman on top seemed like a lot of unnecessary leg work and although I've always enjoyed reverse cowgirl (I have a thing for feet), I wasn't very forward thinking about this position. That all changed with my last boyfriend who introduced me to what we affectionately dubbed "the silk screen." While I was on top of him, facing forward, he would place his fingers on both sides of my butt cheeks and press down, like he was silk-screening a shirt. The pressure and downward movement kept both of us feeling the friction and had me screaming for more.

Spooning. Besides spooning sex being all cuddly, I love spooning because it's the kind of sex you can wake up and do without worrying about Godzilla breath. Not only can spooning sex be super intimate without the kissing, but it's also a great G-spot position. Use a pillow (or two) under your side to see how that lifts more than your mood. 

Doggie Style. Ah, doggie. The closer position that brings many a man to his knees. Not only does this position help him feel like the big man on campus, but a slight arch in the back or a bend in the arms can make a big difference. Work on how you position your legs as you play with the arch in your back, too. Instead of your legs being inside his, use your legs outside of his, to clench his thighs together. Or scissor your legs for another sensation.

Are you going to try one of these tonight? What's your favorite sex position with a twist?

Image via bailoo/Flickr

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