Ladies, Why Are You Always Half-Naked & Teasing Me?

Panama Jackson

woman's bare legsIf I'm to believe Twitter, personal experience, and four out of five dentists, then women are obsessed with nudity. Every day, millions of women come home from work and toss the $200 blouse they spent two hours shopping for into a huge pile of clothes in the corner in favor of doing naked cartwheels all over their humble abode.

Mind you, I'm all for nudity. In fact, I think nudity is the cornerstone of a solid relationship. You have truly achieved comfort with another person when you can be nude around them without feeling self-conscious. Not that I think you all need to be doing nude time at all times. One of my biggest fears in life is doing the nude mambo in the kitchen while somebody is fricasseeing celery and then next thing you know I've become part of the Lorena Bobbitt School for Guys With Chopped Off Wangs.

But I digress.

Every woman (okay, not every, but a huge contingent) I know lives for two moments during the day: the bra release and the naked laydown. Or some variation, like the 98 percent naked laydown. Maybe it represents freedom or something. Contrast that to men who, to my knowledge, may go home and change into some basketball shorts and an old t-shirt of some sort. Maybe men just don't share that information with other guys, but I know that no part of my day includes nudity and the excitement involved with it. Mostly because I can't imagine just walking around naked. Not for the heck of it. I believe in purposeful nudity.

But I've long been curious about women and their nudist habits. Are all women secretly voyeurs? Even women who aren't naked tend to wear as little as humanly possible without being offensive should they have to answer the door for Jehovah's Witnesses trying to hawk copies of The Watchtower. I've got homegirls who would wear the most sexually appealing non-revealing clothing at home.

In fact, now that I think about it, women are kind of sadistic when it comes to home comfort. The types of things women wear at home even if they've invited a man over can be borderline cruel. Yes you can blame our obsession with sex, but if you're selling it, am I wrong for window-shopping? I think not. That's a manstand by the way!

So ladies, what gives? Why do so many women seem to be obsessed with nudity?

My naked eye wants to know.


Image via Andrea Allen/Flickr

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