Is it OK to get really mad at your partner?If you're tired of reading about Jennifer Aniston, I admire you. I'll never tire of learning about Jen's life. She's my everything. And I wish there was a way for me to prove this, but I want you to know that at dinner last night with four friends, we talked about Jen, Justin, and her style like we knew her well. Actually, no. Like she was our sister. There is no Jen news too small for me. No Jen news too gossipy for me, no Jen news that I will not read, devour, interpret, and discuss with the intensity and passion of a dog with a bone. Like now.
Today I read some relationship advice Jen has to offer, and I'm a little concerned.
I would expect Jen to give great relationship advice. I mean, she's been through everything times 1,000. But her little tidbit here has me second guessing her relationship strategy. Hollywood Scoop reports that she said:
You need to talk to each other and you have to say what you want. You don’t confront your man about things which you’re not happy about, you approach it in a much more constructive way. You never want to be in an adversarial situation where it’s you versus him. All couples face those kinds of difficulties, but you've got to be able to talk about your problems and your needs and do it in a positive way. That’s easier said than done, of course.
First let me say that I couldn't find where she first said that quote, so maybe it's made up. I for one would be thrilled if she didn't say that because, well, I kind of disagree with what she's saying.
I think a fight isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes "adversarial situations" are natural, necessary, and cathartic. All arguments and disagreements don't need to be approached in a positive way. Sure, it's ideal for most, but if you're really pissed, I think it's a good thing if you don't hide behind a smile. Constructive convos can be heated -- they don't all need to start with "Honey, I love you, but ..." I think they can sometimes start with "Are you effing kidding me!?" if that's what you're really feeling.
I believe honest fights are healthy and I don't think, as Jen suggests, that every conversation should be approached from a positive angle.
Do you like Jen's supposed advice?
Photo via CMYKcolours/Flickr
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Comments 8
That's how my husband and I handle our problems. We have been together for 22 yrs and married for over 18 and to this day we have NEVER called each other names or said anything to each other that we couldn't take back. We never fight ugly and have great respect for each other because of it.
I don't know. There isn't one way that works for everyone. My SO and I have never fought. It's been a little over year since we've been together. We do disagree sometimes and I have been a little annoyed from time to time but we always talk things out and end on a happy note :)
Treat others how you would want to be treated. Treat your partner with love and respect, that's what marriage should be about.
I won't take her advice. like jalaz points out, she's a serial dater and goes through men like it's her job.
Both my husband and I are strong personalities, and while we won't "fight dirty" and bring up past issues, we do go at each other like 2 professional MMA fighters- with words. We don't hit each other, but we will yell. and scream. then fall into bed to have the most amazing make up sex. Sometimes the yelling is good. (IMO) its like crying. Sometimes it just feels good to do it