Jennifer Aniston Shouldn’t Be Giving Relationship Advice

8

angry woman
Is it OK to get really mad at your partner?
If you're tired of reading about Jennifer Aniston, I admire you. I'll never tire of learning about Jen's life. She's my everything. And I wish there was a way for me to prove this, but I want you to know that at dinner last night with four friends, we talked about Jen, Justin, and her style like we knew her well. Actually, no. Like she was our sister. There is no Jen news too small for me. No Jen news too gossipy for me, no Jen news that I will not read, devour, interpret, and discuss with the intensity and passion of a dog with a bone. Like now.

Today I read some relationship advice Jen has to offer, and I'm a little concerned.

I would expect Jen to give great relationship advice. I mean, she's been through everything times 1,000. But her little tidbit here has me second guessing her relationship strategy. Hollywood Scoop reports that she said:

You need to talk to each other and you have to say what you want. You don’t confront your man about things which you’re not happy about, you approach it in a much more constructive way. You never want to be in an adversarial situation where it’s you versus him. All couples face those kinds of difficulties, but you've got to be able to talk about your problems and your needs and do it in a positive way. That’s easier said than done, of course.

First let me say that I couldn't find where she first said that quote, so maybe it's made up. I for one would be thrilled if she didn't say that because, well, I kind of disagree with what she's saying.

I think a fight isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes "adversarial situations" are natural, necessary, and cathartic. All arguments and disagreements don't need to be approached in a positive way. Sure, it's ideal for most, but if you're really pissed, I think it's a good thing if you don't hide behind a smile. Constructive convos can be heated -- they don't all need to start with "Honey, I love you, but ..." I think they can sometimes start with "Are you effing kidding me!?" if that's what you're really feeling.

I believe honest fights are healthy and I don't think, as Jen suggests, that every conversation should be approached from a positive angle.

Do you like Jen's supposed advice?

 

Photo via CMYKcolours/Flickr

The Backyardigans

celebs

8 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

zandh... zandhmom2

That's how my husband and I handle our problems.  We have been together for 22 yrs and married for over 18 and to this day we have NEVER called each other names or said anything to each other that we couldn't take back.  We never fight ugly and have great respect for each other because of it.

hempm... hempmommy87

I don't know. There isn't one way that works for everyone. My SO and I have never fought. It's been a little over year since we've been together. We do disagree sometimes and I have been a little annoyed from time to time but we always talk things out and end on a happy note :)

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

I think it's good advice. If you jump in and attack someone then they are going to go right to a defensive position and that does not lead to a constructive discussion. Say your husband comes in from work and says "Where the hell are all my shirts? Did you do a damn thing today other than sit on your butt eating bonbons?" I don't know about you but I'd be pretty ticked off at that. On the other hand, say he comes in and says "honey, did you do any ironing today? I don't have any shirts in my closet." It communicates the same piece of information (a lack of ironed shirts for the next day) but the reaction is likely to be very different. In the first case I'd probably get very defensive, maybe even go off on a rant about everything I did do that day which would make both of us miserable. In the second case I'd say "Sorry babe, I didn't realize you were out. I'll do some after dinner."



Treat others how you would want to be treated. Treat your partner with love and respect, that's what marriage should be about.

jalaz77 jalaz77

She is probably the last person I would take advice from. She is a serial dater. I was in my 20's then it got old. I like her but I will not look to anyone famous for advice for anything

redha... redhandedjyll

I won't take her advice. like jalaz points out, she's a serial dater and goes through men like it's her job.


Both my husband and I are strong personalities, and while we won't "fight dirty" and bring up past issues, we do go at each other like 2 professional MMA fighters- with words. We don't hit each other, but we will yell. and scream. then fall into bed to have the most amazing make up sex. Sometimes the yelling is good. (IMO) its like crying. Sometimes it just feels good to do it

nonmember avatar Guest

I don't think she's saying you can only be positive and never get passionate about something. Her advice seems to be that communication is important and approaching issues/problems from the perspective of communicating and resolving them is the way to make things work - and I can't disagree with that.

Also, if you really are a great Jen fan you would know that her parents fought a lot while they were still together and she never wanted to be like that. She even told Primetime in 2004 that she worked so as not to be a yeller. So for her, yelling and arguments lead to a bad relationship/marriage as that's her history. Everyone i different.

nonmember avatar anon

I agree with her, it is much better to get things out in the open than to have tension between you, me and my boyfriend fight all the time but I'd rather it was like that because we know that we love each other and we know we can always sort it out.

LadyF... LadyFreeRider

I asked my grandmother once why, in 50 years of marriage, I had never seen them fight over an issue and always had a great relationship. She told me that when her and grandpa disagreed on an issue they sat down and talked it out until they came to a compromise. I think thats basically the same thing Jen is trying to say. I agree with that way of thinking. Unless the problem is really major, i.e. cheating, then there are other ways to show and feel passionate feelings in a relationship.

1-8 of 8 comments
F