Not better than sexWhat is it with people who think chocolate or ice cream or souffle is as "good as sex"? People use this expression all the time and one has to assume they don't mean it because duh. Everyone knows nothing is as good as sex. And yet for one woman on TLC's Freaky Eaters, it is.
"It is almost like having a lover," this poor, sad woman says of the ice cream bars she loves. And maybe in her world it is, but when people say that to me, it usually tells me that they are either not having very good sex or they have a weird addiction to the other thing. Because let's get real: There is nothing as good as sex.
It's funny how sex has become the yard stick by which everything else is measured. There is even a restaurant in Key West called Better Than Sex that only serves dessert. It's pretty great, but there is nothing else in the world that rivals "it" when it comes down to it.
So, here's a little cheat sheet of things that aren't as good as sex from someone who has done (and eaten) them all:
- Chocolate: Yes, I've had dark and Belgian. I've had Swiss and Brazilian. I love chocolate, but I would be out of my gourd to say any chocolate I've ever had compares to the mattress mambo with my hubs.
- Skydiving: Jumping out of a plane is SO fun. It's such a rush. But, my friends, sex has it beaten. Hands (and chutes) down.
- Bungee jumping: See above.
- Running a marathon: It's awesome and exhilarating and so darn empowering, but it's a lot more fun to be naked with your honey. Trust me on this.
- Cake: I've eaten them all -- German chocolate, pineapple, strawberry, and more -- and have never found a single cake that compares to sexual healing.
- A hot bath: There is nothing stewing in your own filth can do for you that sex can't. Yes, even with a glass of wine and a good book.
- Fondue: Fondue is awesome. I love it. But give me sex over it any day. Now sex AND fondue? Bring it!
- Sleep: OK. Sometimes sleep does have sex beaten. Sorry to say.
Sorry Miss Ice Cream Bar Lover, you have a problem. There ain't nothing so lovely as lovin'.
Do you think anything is better than sex?
Image via EuroMagic/Flickr