Unemployed People Shouldn't Get Married

Maressa Brown

unemploymentWith unemployment being more common these days, you'd think maybe we're starting to take it a little more lightly. For instance, maybe more people aren't letting unemployment prevent them from saying "I do"? This is a question a study by ForbesWoman and YourTango posed to women. The result: 75 percent of women polled would not marry a man who was unemployed.

We all want to think romance and love trump money. Plenty of people out there who read this poll's findings may think, "Wow, what cold, gold-digging beeyotches! Where do they get off saying they won't marry a man they're in love with -- just because he happens to be unemployed?" But money does deserve more credit than love sometimes. When it comes to this poll question, I'm definitely with that 75 percent.

In short, because I value security and equate it with marriage.

I've heard stories of how Sally and Bob So-and-So got engaged and married without a penny to their name or while they were in between jobs. He used a ring out of a candy machine or gave her a 1/4-carat diamond. It's a lovely, sentimental memory for some couples, but I don't think they deserve a pat on the back for deciding to get hitched when the chips were down.

Because whether we like it or not, it makes a lot more sense for couples to wait until they've attained a certain level of security before tying the knot. For many reasons, but namely, for confidence. With some money in the bank and a steady paycheck, you're better assured that you really can start a life together. Split rent or save up a down payment for a house. Get a dog, a cat, and possibly have kids someday.

Personally, and like 65 percent of the women polled, I wouldn't get married if I wasn't secure in my career. A regular, not even all that princess-y wedding is an expense in itself, but I'd also want to know I had money coming in that I could put toward our new life together (honeymoon, roof over our heads, furniture perhaps, to pay for a move, etc.).

Also, I understand where a guy is coming from when he talks about wanting security before marriage. I once told my boyfriend that I love him so much, I'd live with him even if he ended up living in a box on the street. But I've since taken it back. Because if that were to happen, he wouldn't be happy or a good partner. I know it sounds like antiquated wisdom, but consciously or subconsciously, I think guys want to know they can play the role of "provider."

Sure, you're in it for the long haul, and what difference does it make if you're unemployed when married or married then unemployed? Of course, you can't predict the future. But you can control the present somewhat, and you can decide whether or not being in a "good place" (not perfect, but good) mentally, emotionally, and yes, financially serves you and your partner best before taking the plunge.

Would you get married to someone who was unemployed or while you yourself were unemployed?

Image via Clementine Gallot/Flickr

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