Hey Ladies! You're Making It Hard for Me to Date You

Panama Jackson
6

man and woman nycThere's a hugely popular misconception out there that the dating scene is full of women who are great catches just waiting for ONE single, solitary decent guy to show up and give them love. Guys are pretty much running amok doing our best zombie apocalypse impression devouring the souls of pour unsuspecting damsels.

And while there may be SOME truth to that, dating sucks for us guys, too. Ladies, have you ever TRIED to date a 2011 woman? Probably not. So let me break it down for you so that it can forever be buh-roke. No Love Jones.

If the assumption is that men all suck and women are dating the men that all suck, then it stands to reason that the women who are dating the men who all suck are walking into these new prospective dating scenarios with walls up, basically sucking. But not just any wall, we're talking Great Wall of China meets the Berlin Wall. While I'll always believe that women are the most optimistic beings on the planet (also the most masochistic, but that's another post for another day), truth is, there are some women out there who either don't know how to date anymore for fear of being played or whose entire attitude was borrowed from Miranda Priestly.

Add to the fact that women are becoming a lot more aggressive nowadays with their disparate attitudes and dating becomes a battle of wits and mud-wrestling match to the death.

Seriously, I've gone on dates where not only has a woman acted mildly violent, she then morphed into Kujo and proceeded to tell me why I sucked as a person ... in life. And this was FIVE minutes after we sat down to eat. Then I've got the lady who told me her entire dating history on the first date, which caused me to psychoanalyze her and tell her why she was going to be single forever. Check please.

Let's not even talk about the young lady I dated TWICE who went from being the sweetest thing ever to a mentally inept 16-year-old who attempted to use mother-loving social networking to get back at me for suspending the "situation." For the record, deleting a grown man off of Twitter doesn't really make us mad. Truth is, we won't notice unless you tell us, which, of course, makes you look even more ridiculous.

Point is, the dating game, while understandably craptacular for women, sucks just as much for men. So ladies, next time you see a man on a date, take a shot for him, he's probably going through the same nonsense you think is solely reserved for you.

Cheers to the freakin' weekend, I'll drink to that.

 

Image via Jason Mrachina/Flickr

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