How Soon A Man Says 'I Love You' Means Everything


happy coupleAccording to researchers at M.I.T. (fancy!) men are the first to say "I love you" in a relationship 61% of the time, but are happier when the woman beats them to the punch.

The research also suggests that a man considers saying those three little words a full 6 weeks earlier than the woman does.

Hmm. Can how soon a many says he loves you determine if he just wants to get in your pants?

The study also finds that men starting thinking about saying "I love you" 97 days, or about three and a half months, into a relationship. That time frame seems about right to me. It takes a while to get to know someone and fall in love, and after 90 days you probably have a good idea about your feelings. So if a guy tells a girl earlier than that 97 day mark, what are his intentions? Sex, of course.

I'm wondering if he says "I love you" early on if it has anything to do with luring our unsuspecting souls into bed. Maybe guys say those three little words first just to move things along, if you know what I'm saying.

I would be very wary of a guy who told me he loved before 90 days of dating. I'd be all, "you don't know me, fool!" and would certainly be skeptical of his motives. If he told me after 2 weeks of dating, I'd ask for his mother's number and give her a call to ask what she think went wrong when he was growing up. Was he not hugged enough? Not too many friends? Does he have a deep need to be liked?

On the other hand, if a boy I were seeing took a year to utter those three words, I'd be just as uncomfortable. I'd be all, "you know me, fool! Spit it out!" Then of course I would naturally assume he has a fear of commitment and would be just as nervous with him as I would an early-I-love-you-sayer.

I'm glad to hear that the study found that 97 days seems to be the norm for the "I love yous" to start coming out. That feels right to me, and it's what I've experience in my two long-term relationships. Any sooner and he just wants to bang me, any later and just wants to bang someone else.

How soon is too soon to hear "I love you," and how late is too late?

Photo via emilianohorcada/Flickr

dating, commitment


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melis... melissabilliot

my husband told me he loved me after 3 weeks...and no it wasnt to get in my pants..that happened after 3 you can know earlier


kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

My husband and I were together alittle over a month and we had already slept together lol. I've heard if they say it quick before u sleep together to worry but if he says it after like not in the moment then ur ok :)

Seven... Seven7at7

My husband said said it the day he asked me out, next month will be our 7th anniversary :)

nonmember avatar Liz

My boyfriend said it after three weeks and it didn't freak me out at all because within that first month of dating I knew he was the love of my life. I've been in love before, and even during the happiest time of my previous relationship I never thought of that ex boyfriend as "the one." It's true when they say that when you meet "the one" you just know. That was a concept I never understood before starting a relationship with my boyfriend.

hanna... hannahsmom238

My husband said it after about 4 months.

phant... phantomphan

My husband said it around 5 weeks. We've been together 10 years married for 6.

acrog... acrogodess

My S/O and I knew each other (not very well) for about three months before we started to go out. Had sex 4 days after we became boyfriend and girlfriend. He said "I love you" after about a month and I was hesitant to say it back to him even though I did love him. It's been 12 yrs since we started dating. 

mellynnf mellynnf

My husband said it first about six weeks in.  We did not have sex until 9 months into the relationship so if he said to get sex it certainly didn't work.  We have been together 14 years now. :)

ajbro... ajbrownies

My husband told me the first week we'd been dating, but we'd been best friends for a year and he'd been in love with me for a long time. We've been married for almost 6 years.

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