Sex on the 1st Date Still Isn't Respectable in 2011

Sasha Brown-Worsham
16

Every few years it feels like someone tries to make the case that sleeping together on a first date is a great plan. It seems like it should be, right? You have physical chemistry, all the hot "newness" and everything that entails, so why not? We also all know the friend who DID sleep with her man on their first date, and now they're happily married with three kids and a blissful sex life that is both loving and hot.

It happens, of course. But for every happy story, there are 10 more "OMG, I can't believe I did that" stories of too much booze, too little mutual respect, and a first date that quickly devolved into a last one. Not that you shouldn't do it. By all means, ladies, seize your sexuality and have sex with him whenever you want, but don't expect to marry him. Like any other relationship, it may or may not work out, and if you have already slept together, it puts that much more pressure on it.

Oh I know. I am such a prude. The fact is, when you have sex, the power dynamic shifts in the relationship. It may sound 1954, but it's also true.

Naturally, there are exceptions and extenuating circumstances and there is lust to consider, but generally speaking, it's a good rule of thumb to wait as long as you can.

Personally, sleeping together on a first date would make me wonder how many other girls he had done that with. While it does (and can) happen, those who practice it often don't end up with the person they boinked on the first date. Is that because of the sex? Hard to say. But the more times you sleep with someone the first time, the more people you have slept with overall in your life.

Besides, isn't sex just better when you know the person? Sure, we all get lustful and lord knows I made some mistakes back in college along those lines, but it's also important that we don't put ourselves into positions we didn't want to be in. This is equal opportunity! It's not just that he won't respect us, but also that we might not respect him.

It's always possible you will sleep together the first night and get married, but it's also possible you will sleep together the first night and be horrified in the morning. So why not wait it out a bit? What's the hurry?

Do you think sleeping together on the first date is bad?


Image via PlayfulLibrarian/Flickr

Read More