Wooing a Woman Drunk & On a Horse Isn't a Good Idea

Lindsay Mannering
5

knightAfter a night of drinking, I often take off my top and ride a horse around town yelling at people that "the British are coming! The British are coming!" Today I've discovered that I might not be the only one with a flare for the dramatics once the Jameson hits the veins. Jan Rudnicki, a 40-year-old divorced father of seven, just wanted to impress a lady friend and thought, like I would, that getting on a wild animal and bursting through her door would win him some points.

I mean, he's just a drunk guy, sitting bare-chested on a horse, asking a girl to love him. Are we not?

Rudnicki went out with his buddies, had a few drinks, then thought of a great plan to woo a woman he had a crush on. Fancying himself a knight in shining armor, he mounted a horse shirtless and stormed, battering ram style, into her home as she sat on the couch watching TV. She wasn't amused. The bare-chested man, bareback on a horse, was a startle to say the least, and not in a good way. Those butterflies in her stomach were in a panic, not in love.

The woman told the local paper that she was not impressed with his attempt and thinks he's totally off his rocker. Rudnicki could face up to five years in prison if she decides to press charges.

Aw, come on lady! Isn't it kinda cute? Kinda awesome? Kind of absolutely adorably absurd that you can't help laugh as you pick up the broken remains of your front door, warning your kids to stand back lest they get splinters? I think this lady's lost that loving feeling.

Jan, if you're out there and not behind bars somewhere in Poland, you are welcome to knock down my door any time, ya old bastard. I'll be curious to see you get that horse up four flights of stairs, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Would you be amused if a suitor and would-be knight rammed into your house?


Photo via armigeress/Flickr

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