Agreeing With Your Husband Makes Your Marriage Boring

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Ever been out to dinner with that couple? The couple who tells you how they both just read The Help for their book club (yup, they are in it together). The couple who quotes Desperate Housewives at the same time because they never miss it and watch it together. The couple who just planted six rose bushes together and are figuring out what to put in the little area by their garage. Yes, the couple that does everything together, agrees on everything? That, to me, sounds boooorrrrinnnng. Maybe I'm just channeling my inner Elaine from Seinfeld, a bit cynical, but c'mon! It's like Welcome to Snoresville.  

My husband and I don't agree on many things. Let me rephrase: we don't agree on much of anything. And I love it.

Of course, we agree on the big things: love, commitment, how to raise Kiddo, blah blah blah. I'm talking the other bits of Life, the things that make up the fabric of your day-to-day. We have debates over what to watch on TV. We argue about what should be the next movie in our Netflix queue. We flip a coin to decide what to order in on Saturday nights. 

Sometimes I get my way; other times I don't. I love this. Okay, for a moment, I am pissed, but 98 percent of the time, when we are halfway through a movie I didn't really want to watch, I find myself enjoying it. As I am on my third bite of my dinner I really wasn't in the mood for, I realize it's hitting the spot. Yup, not agreeing all of the time, having different interests, different preferences gets each of us outside of our usual M.O., outside of our comfort zone, which is an awesome thing, people.

It's good to disagree sometimes, really, and then be game to try something new -- if only with the intention of proving the other wrong. You'll be surprised how often you will end up liking that something that is new! What he has learned he likes because of me: So You Think You Can Dance, ready-made Jell-O pudding, Percy Jackson and the Olympians YA series, all things Oprah. What I have learned I like because of him: quirky indie films, Indian food, Neal Stephenson novels, Bill Maher. 

Do you and your husband love the same or different things?

 

Image via istolethetv/Flickr

turn-ons, marriage, romance tip, love

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Guinh... Guinhyvar

My ex husband and I had nothing in common. Could not agree on ANYTHING, ever, at all. Different interests, tastes, hobbies... you name it, we did it differently than the other. At first I kinda liked it. We had many an intense discussion and it was interesting. But after awhile it was exhausting always arguing about what to do, what to eat, what to watch, and it was easier to just do my own thing and have him do his. We even stopped going to the same movies- he'd go see the one he wanted, and I would go see the one I wanted. At the same time. 


It was lonely. I couldn't talk to him; we didn't relate. We weren't just on different pages, we were in completely different books.


Not surprisingly, we're not married anymore.


My second husband and I have a lot in common. More things than not. We never fight, rarely argue. We watch shows together, see the same movies, read the same books. It's great. I love it. However, we have just enough not in common to keep it interesting. Although we mostly agree on things, sometimes we see it differently, admittedly not often, but enough for us.That's not to say that he hasn't introduced me to things I haven't been exposed to, and vice versa; I've learned to try things I wouldn't have even thought about trying because he likes it, and the same goes for him.


To answer your question, we're very similar in tastes, but very different in personality. And it works great for us.

Wendi Watson

totally agree! i think it sounds boring too but seriously annoying if you have to be around a  couple that argues all the freakin time. I think my husband and i have it balanced out perfectly. WE have alot in common but we get the other person to try out what the person likes to do and visce versa. WE love country.. like the same movies.. most of them. I hate horror and just plain violent movies but  i like to  watch action movies with him and he actually likes some chick flicks. I am one lucky women.

Wendi Watson

Every couple argues but you need to know how to handle them like just because you have a little argument or a big one doesnt mean that equals divorce. My husband and I think divorce isnt an option. You can get divoreced anytime but its not ever in the cards for us. : )

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