Sexting Is Still Cheating

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Anthony WeinerI don’t know what’s more pathetic about this whole Anthony Weiner fiasco. Help me choose: Is it because he’s just the latest dude in a position of power and notoriety to submerge himself in controversy for the oldest, most tired reason ever? (He can expect a “thank you for taking the heat off me” note from Arnold Schwarzenegger any day now, huh?)

Is it because we’re really wondering who in the h-e-double hockey sticks wanted to see his man parts in the first place?

Or is it because he first adamantly denied doing it, insisted his account had been hacked, and then proceeded to poke (sorry) stab (dangit!) make (there we go) fun at his incredibly appropriate last name, essentially proving him not only a colossal fibber but a cheater, too?

Decisions, decisions… 

Folks on both sides of the political fence are calling for the latest poster child of American scandal to call it quits, bag it up, and scuttle from his position. To do what, I don’t know. Kinda hard to get another job when you’ve got a real memorable name plus a whole lotta brouhaha attached to it. Like Monica Lewinsky. She’s not just sliding her resume across anybody’s desk and expecting not to get a rise out of the person on the receiving end.
 
Weiner, of course, has refused to step aside and decided instead that a little downtime with a professional who helps sexual deviants stop being sexual deviants will hopefully rescue his career. I personally don’t think the man should resign. Heck, if all the politicians, major decision-makers, and movers and shakers who had been caught up in some hanky panky were to relinquish their posts, we’d have to shave the House down to like 7 members and hold elections every 15 years just to wrangle together some qualified candidates. And let’s not even talk about what a ghosttown Hollywood and professional sports arenas would be.

(Oh, and the golf course. Hey Tiger!)

Though he should be 50 times too smart to fall into the same trap as so many who have been smited before him, Weiner was sucked into that cyberspace buffer zone that seems to give folks the feeling that what they’re saying and doing will stay anonymous, that overarching invincibility of being online that makes a lot of men seem to think that sexting and other forms of digital courtship don’t qualify as inappropriate because there’s no actual physical contact. A little ego-boosting flirtation can get amped up to a full-out smut fest so long as there’s no flesh-on-flesh contact.

Let me make this Tiffany crystal clear in case my boyfriend ever reads this post (and I’m pretty sure he will since I’m going to send it to him as soon as I’m done): sexting is as bad as unfurling your you tube and sharing your bounty with another chick in a motel room. Same goes for phone sex, email porn, and Skyping little strip teases to one another. If it’s not a conversation that you’d want me to hear, if it’s not a message that you’d be cool with me opening, if it’s not a chat that you’d want me to sit in on, it is c-h-e-a-t-i-n-g.

If you have to hide anything? Cheating. Erasing messages to cover your virtual footsteps? Cheating. Closing your laptop or flipping to another page when I walk in the room? Cheating. And certainly password-protecting everything and generally treating your cell phone like it’s been issued by the Secret Service, which includes taking the joint to the bathroom with you because you’re just that afraid that your little afternoon delight with Candy from Tuscaloosa could seep out.

Weiner got sucked into the false sense of comfort that not knowing the chicks in his little e-harem personally meant he was sidestepping the scarlet letter of infidelity. But just as a rule of thumb — any time a bulging crotch shot and a bare chest make an appearance, things have probably gone a bit too far.

In Janelleville, a dude actually doesn’t have any business texting another gal in the first place unless he’s talking to the woman who birthed him, asking for directions, or confirming my surprise birthday plans. Anything more than that with anybody other than his mama or his sister is askin’ for a big Weiner moment.

So is sexting the same as cheating? Is it a harmless way to fulfill a "need" for attention from other people?

Image via David Boyle/Flickr

celebs, commitment, lying

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purpl... purpleglitter

WIth a last name like that and his behavior he needs to keep himself to himself for a wee bit!!!

Melanie Bratko

I'm still amazed about all the hoopla going on in the media about the sex lives of other people and politics. I think there's so much more important stuff to deal with and wish the media would concentrate on those things. What ever happened to treating people as you'd like to be treated? How would you feel if you were the wife? Would you like to have your private life raked through the mud? Let's leave the politicians to do their work, (God only knows we need forward movement on many issues these days) and stop making this such a big issue. Can't you find something constructive to write about?. 

Beths... Bethsunshine

If you can't do it in front of your spouse, it's cheating, plain and simple.

Kellie Everett Pinto

I am totally with you on this one Janelle. If you dont want me to read, see, or hear it you SHOULDNT be doing it. Really its that simple. Now if my hubby sexted (and he has) I wouldnt (and didnt) leave him. He WILL NOT get that chance again but he has learned and his phone no longer is tied to his hand. But if he had sex with someone then he would be out so fast he wouldnt know what happened.

Rebekah Paris

Let me start out by saying, there are things going on all over the world that deserve our attention. Every time I turn on the television or open my computer, I have to hear or read about who's doing what with who. I would rather read about the state of the economy or how communities are recoving from recent natural disaters.


 


Now to the question at hand. Please keep in mind that this is my personal feeling and opinion. I am in no way talking about any relationship but my own. Anything that CHEATS me out of what I need from my husband, is cheating. If he is busy sexting with someone, he isn't texting me. That is cheating. If he is online talking to some random girl, when he could be talking to me or our children, it is cheating. Whether it gets physical or not, he is cheating me out of the promises he made to make me his only one. He is CHEATING. Like I said, this applies to me and my relationship. To each their own. Do I feel that nonphysical cheating is worth ending my marriage over? No, unless he is telling her that he loves her or something equally serious. Then it has crossed a line and there is no turning back for me.

butte... butterflyfreak

I was pretty agreeable with what was being said until the last paragraph. My husband has several platonic female friends that he talks and texts to and I don't have a problem with that. I might be leery if he was in the habit of being secretive with his texts and such, but he's not. It's also a little something called TRUST, and if you can't trust your man, maybe it's time to move on. Just saying.


As far as this whole "scandal," can we please just focus on stuff that ACTUALLY concerns us. Oh, wait, I guess we can't because we would much rather talk about stuff that is NONE of our business. I really couldn't give a flying monkey poo who is cheating on their wife. The fact that the dude lied about it in the beginning is a little concerning but it's DONE! Moving on.......

nonmember avatar Jai

DH 100% agrees that it's cheating. I think its cheating. I'd check to see if your SO would be okay with you sexting (or doing anything else with some other guy!). I'd be surprised if any guy is okay with his girl getting it on (in any way shape or form) with another guy. Therefore it shouldn't be okay for women to put up with their men doing the same. There are boundaries put into place in our marriage. Computers get checked annually, there are accountability programs on our phones and we each have a program on our phone that even if a call, message, or email is deleted on our phones it is backed up online and can't be deleted from there so we keep tabs on each other. I realize it's not for everyone but it keeps our marriage in check.

Janise Barrett

I only consider what he did to be cheating because he lied about it. If he had said yeah, I engaged in something I shouldnt have and am now seeking help for it - I would have said no biggie and lets move on now. Its hard to say what is right or wrong in all cases though, was his wife ignoring him? Are they having issues and he was reaching out to some one - anyone? Is he under too much stress? Is he just a sexual deviant? I have no idea. I prefer to look at the why's of ones actions rather than to make a snap judgement. All I really know for sure is men are different than women int he arena of sexual needs and desires.


For me personally, lying is the most offensible action one can do, it means you dont trust me with the truth and you dont respect me enough to tell me the truth. Game over, thank you for playing.

irish... irishcoffee

Anything that is supposed to be reserved for your loving, committed spouse at home is cheating.  Even if she's "OK" with it, it cheats your marriage of something that is supposed top be private.

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