Put It Away, Dammit!Consider this a public service announcement to men all over the world (unfortunately I'm too late for Anthony Weiner): Dudes, we're really skeeved out when you send us photos of your erect penis. Or flaccid. Or any version of your *cough* manhood. Yes, even if we think you're "hot" and say so on your Facebook page. Yes, even if we're having sex with you. From the women of the Internets -- enough is a-freaking 'nough. Stop sending photos of your Johnson to us via tweet, text, or good old-fashioned email, 'cuz we don't want to see it.
Anthony Weiner isn't the only guy to send an unsolicited dick shot to a woman. He's just the most recent public figure to get busted. It's a phenomenon that is as old as the first email attachment. In fact, any lady under the age of 40 has probably been the recipient of a snapshot of the old twig and berries. I was, and guess what? IT DIDN'T TURN ME ON.
So I suppose this is time to let everyone know (including the dude who did it) that just because I wanted to get on that, I didn't need a photo of it opening up on a public computer. Or a private computer. It's embarrassing, and all it made me was uncomfortable. And, quite frankly, a little unimpressed with your immaturity.
The unfortunate stereotype about men believing the sun rises and sets on their John Thomas can be accurate. After all, don't stereotypes come from somewhere? But I've never met a woman who thinks the most attractive part of a man is his wang. Also, something you should pay very close attention to boys, women really love your schlong because it's attached to YOU. Without you, it's nothing.
I know, I know, it's damn near impossible to understand for those of you stuck in adolescence (and you're out there, clearly, you're out there). But while your boner may mean the world to you, we'd much rather look at any of the following:
- Your ass
- Your face
- Your chest
Take a note, mack daddys. And ... you're welcome.
Have you ever received an unsolicited cock shot? How long did you gag?
Image via Boss Tweed/Flickr