Bad Sex Doesn't Ruin Relationships

Emily Abbate

sex bedAdrianne Curry and Christopher Knight are the latest celeb duo in the spotlight who have decided to take a break. Curry says part of the reason for their separation was that she wasn't feeling it in the bedroom. The actress reportedly used a Sybian machine instead of having sex with her partner.

FYI: A Sybian machine is a rich person's vibrator. Think mechanical bull, with an extra appendage.

What's up with all of these celebrity breakups basing their problems on bad intimacy? First there was Jesse James, who said that Sandra Bullock wasn't putting out enough. Then there was Arnold Schwarzenegger who complained about his sexless marriage with Maria. And now, the America's Next Top Model winner says her Brady Bunch hubby just wasn't doing it for her between the sheets.

I don't think bad sex alone ruins a relationship. There are a lot of other factors, too.

In my eyes, the components of a great relationship are this: You must be true friends, you must always be honest, you must appreciate one another's interests, and there must be compatible sexual chemistry. Of course, there are other important things, but for me -- those are the heavy hitters.

Yes, sex is important. But if you're having bad sex with your partner and all of the other "ingredients" for your relationship are in place, then you should be able to ask them hey, what's up with the sex? And if the two of you genuinely care about the well-being of your relationship, then you'll put in the effort to work on the intimacy factor and try new things.

A lot of the time, it's not that your partner is a crappy lover. I mean, you once had great sex, right? Maybe the sex went downhill over time and you both just let it slide. Note: BOTH. So you both need to fix it. And maybe it's just a bad day or week, maybe your partner is having a tough time at work or maybe time with the kids makes it hard to have time alone. It all comes down to communication.

If you're not real friends, then that open line of good communication won't be a viable option for you. If you don't appreciate that your partner really cares about, say physical fitness or music or whatever it might be, then you won't understand why they're not all there in the sack. The key is to be honest and open with one another, so you can have a heart-to-heart about what's going wrong in between the sheets. And hopefully save your relationship before it's too late.

Do you think bad sex is a legitimate reason to end a relationship? Do you feel that it's more than just good sex that keeps couples together?

Image via johntyler/ Flickr

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