Besides info about weight loss, it seems like we as women are constantly assaulted by magazines and other media offering advice for our sex lives. They ask us if we're having enough of it? If it's the right kind of sex? How 'bout the BEST sex? Are we taking enough sexual risks? Speaking of ... how 'bout those sex positions! Gotta make sure you're not too "vanilla" in bed, or else you and he will get bored, ya know. (Or so they tell us.)
The truth is that by the time we're in our mid-20s, we don't really need all this Cosmo blather to ensure sexual satisfaction. For the most part, we know what we like between the sheets, and we're content with it. Even if it isn't the most risque, challenging, or "porn-y" technique.
In fact, Dr. Debby Herbenick -- a sex expert worthy of a girl crush, because she talks about things like vibrators and masturbation like she's your BFF -- recently told Glamour that sometimes the simplest sex positions win out over the pretzel twist-y, acrobatic kind (which land some women in the ER!).
I've done lots of historical research about sex, and there's a good reason that, in almost all cultures around the world and throughout time, three basic sex positions have ruled.
Which specifically? Well, the winners are ...
Guy Behind Girl - Although some porn tends to make it look objectifying, the position typically named for "man's best friend" may be a favorite, because we get to feel "taken," perhaps even dominated in a "he can't resist me" way. And it's just plain hot.
Woman on Top - Whether we'll admit it or not, we like having our turn taking the reins. Giving him a view he won't forget. Plus, we feel guilty about him having to do all the work. Oh, and we think it might help us get in our cardio! No matter the initial reason we saddle up, it's a wise move, because it's the "top" spot for having the most control (manual, movement, etc.) over our orgasm.
Missionary - Believe it or not! Herbenick says she believes missionary is highly underrated. She also calls it "surefire vanilla," and claims men even prefer it over something more acrobatic. Lots of ladies agree. So, forget "vanilla"! How about "time-honored," people! Why we love it: When he moves against you, he'll provide stimulation for your clitoral area, and you'll be well on your way to orgasm. Plus, being face-to-face bolsters intimacy. Even Cosmo will admit it rocks! There's no shame in enjoying what's tried-and-true.
Are these positions also your favorite? What are some others you love?
Image via Pedro Ribeiro Simoes/Flickr
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Comments 25
Mmm I love it all. But for me, I don't get the luster of woman on top. It feels boring to me, I feel less in control, if anything. I do it for the reasons listed, but not for my benefit. I do like being in a position to watch him more closely and subdue him.
But yeah, I need to stop reading into the "vanilla" propaganda, because then I worry about us doing it the same old way too much. I like it just fine, and so does he, so where does some magazine get off (get it? --"get off") telling us we're going to bore our men if we don't get all Jenna Jameson in bed?
Regardless of the position, it's great to have a man who knows to make sure *I'm* satisfied before he get's off! ;-)
My favorite is man behind woman. I'm a big girl so I always feel fat doing woman on top.