Having a hot sexual connection is pretty much one of the best, most integral aspects of a relationship, marriage, life really. So it would seem like a major shame if people who happen to also have a deep connection to God were missing out. Researchers from Kansas University saying they are. According to their survey of 14,500 people, the more religious you are, the worse your sex life is. And thus, atheists have the best sex.
Why? Well, obviously, religious people don't enjoy their sexual experiences as much due to the stigma created by their uptight belief systems. So much so that they're overcome with intense feelings of regret after an orgasm. (Yeesh! That is a damn shame!) On the other hand, non-believers are said to be more willing to discuss sexual fantasies and are more satisfied with their experiences.
The good news? Converting can help!
Yup, people who abandoned their religious beliefs said their sex lives were "much improved" and rated their new experiences on average as 7.81 out of ten.
So, the lesson here it seems is if you want to have a carefree, XXX-rated time getting tied up in bed, you gotta ditch those spiritual ties!
But hmm ... as easy as it may seem to force people into these two black or white categories -- religious = prude, atheist = sexually liberated -- something about this study just doesn't fully ring true. I'm sure that yes, even in the year 2011, there people who fit the mold they're talking about. (People who have never seen Sex & the City apparently.) But the 14,500 people involved in this study aside, I'm not convinced.
Maybe that's because I can think of some devoutly religious people from across-the-board faiths (Mormon, Jewish, Catholic, Hindu, etc.) who have stellar sex lives with absolutely no guilt. They're among some of the best-laid (ha) people I know. In fact, as far as I know from my own background -- in Judaism, it's considered a mitzvah (or a fulfillment of a commandment, a worthy deed) to satisfy your sexual craving with your spouse out of mutual love and desire.
Plus, I've heard that there are many priests and other spiritual leaders who are all about the very same thing. Just look at the Christian pastor who challenged his married congregants to get it on every night for a week -- then for 30 DAYS! All because he argued that frequent, positive sexual experiences can promote intimacy, communication and emotional bonding. (Duh.)
So, see, Kansas researchers -- spirituality doesn't have to be Kryptonite to sexual satisfaction! Call me overly optimistic, but I believe (pun intended) that having a hot sex life is possible no matter what your faith ... or lack thereof.
Do you believe that being more religious can ruin your sex life?
Image via David Wong/Flickr
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Comments 9
I think it depends on the person. From my own personal interactions Id say that my more religious friends aren't as open in public with sexuality (i.e. talking freely with their girlfriends about sex in general) and, they aren't as adventurous in bed. That may not mean that they are having horrible sex. Maybe it's enough for them. It's funny, Ive never chalked it up to them being religious but more to them being more conservative than me.
It makes sense. If you grew up being told that sex is shameful it's got to be hard to be adventurous later.
sorry, but that is BS....now I do believe that there must be SOME people who fall into the category, maybe because some hardline uber conservative taught them that sex was bad...but as for me and for most of my friends, it's the exact opposite. In fact a friend of mine who is married to a minister, used to tell me about these things she went to in Dallas...kind of like christian conventions for women only...I think they were called "Behind Closed Doors" or something like that. But they were run by 2 christian women who put together a scripture based thing on sex inside the christian marriage. They talked about fantasy and toys and everything, but again, it was within a marriage. I am a very conservative person when it comes to social issues, economy and politics. But with in a marriage of 2 people, I believe anything goes as long as both partners agree. Makes for a happy marriage. And yes of course doing it nightly for a week or a month makes for a better marriage. When we are super busy and can't seem to sqeeze in even a quickie for a few nights in a row, we get super irritable with each other. I usually look at my hubby and say man, we need sex bad!!!
Personally, I'm a liberated non-believer. However, I'm wondering if more outwardly conservative religious people perhaps would not volunteer for the study. Their sex lives may be great, but their voices may not have been heard. Atheists, on the other hand, would jump at the opportunity (I know I would have LOVED to be involved in this!).
Over the years I've had a few women confide in me that they faked their orgasms during intercourse. They craved affection and were very affectionate, but found the sex part mildly repulsive and tolerated it in order to please their husbands. Each of these women were raised in very strict religious homes. Not a healthy easy-going spirituality, but bible thumping fanatical (everyone goes to hell but us and no one can have any sexual or reproductive rights) homes. Can't help but see a connection, at least in their cases. Sad.