We are headed to my brother's wedding soon, and I was thinking about what to get my future sister-in-law for her bridal luncheon-that-is-kind-of-a-shower. She wants us to make donations to a charity, which I will, but I also wanted to get her something too. I first thought of lingerie ... which made me wrack my brain as to the last time I wore lingerie. It was, well, in another decade. Long ago in another decade. Seriously. Once you become a mom, lingerie dies.
It comes down to two things. First up, comfort. Look around the park. How many moms do you think are sporting some racy corset-like teddies underneath those mommy capris and t-shirts? It would be too hot and way too hard to bend in to grab Junior from the end of the slide. Just not comfy at all. Is any mom donning a red push-up and matching lace thong while waiting for Kiddo at ballet class? I think not. That lace is itchy, right? And, we all know, when they make lingerie, they didn't make it to be conducive for preschool pick-up ... or really anything other than being sexy on a bed.
Plus, if you are wearing lingerie and Kiddo barges in as you are going to the bathroom, you have just opened up a huge can of worms about your "fancy panties," which you know she will be telling her whole class and the teachers about tomorrow.
Second, say you don't wear the lingerie all day and have ready to go when the moment strikes. You have it in your drawer, but it just isn't practical to think you're going to pull on some garter belts and matching peek-a-boo nightie before the Love Time Boogaloo.
Picture it: you've had a long day with the kids, it's bath time. Your hubby comes home early -- whoo hoo! You shove some pjs and the wet children at him so you can finish folding the laundry and clear off the dinner dishes. After the kiddos are in bed, he looks at you with that look. Even if, on the rare chance, you are in the mood, you aren't in the mood to go fishing around your drawer for fishnets. Nope. The hanky-panky will commence but sans lingerie.
You see, once you become a mom, lingerie dies. Maybe the sex doesn't change, but what sex is wearing certainly does.
Do you still wear lingerie?
Image via stagshop/Flickr