Arnold Schwarzenegger Is a Coward, But So Are Women Who Cheat

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women cheatersJohn Edwards, Tiger Woods, Jesse James ... now, Arnold Schwarzenegger is the latest powerful man to be under the microscope for his straying ways. But just because we don't hear about women cheating as often as these guys doesn't mean it's not happening.

In fact, a new study from the journal Psychological Science found that although men in positions of power were more likely to be unfaithful in a relationship, they found that women were just as guilty. Supposedly, the amount of confidence a person has is the strongest connection between power and cheating.

But power or no power, confidence or no confidence, it seems to me that infidelity is often the result of one thing ... cowardice.

I always find it terribly disheartening when I hear that anyone -- male or female -- has been unfaithful to their partner. It's the hopeless romantic in me. I want to believe that when you make a promise to be exclusive, you're headed for happily ever after. Obviously this is the real world, and things don't always rarely play out that way. And I'm sure there are some almost legit reasons people choose to have affairs. But that doesn't change the fact that cheating -- especially because a position of power has inflated your sense of confidence to the point where you think you can get away with it or you "deserve" to, etc. -- is a cop-out.

Make no bones about it -- Schwarzenegger copped out big-time by having a love child behind his wife Maria's back and keeping it a secret for a decade. You don't have to be procreating behind your partner's back to be a coward. Just shtup-ing someone else is enough.

Because choosing to have an affair is basically actively acknowledging that there's something missing from your own relationship you need to find elsewhere ... but you won't or can't address it.

I understand that there are some instances where cheating can be rationalized. When people have tried, and the missing pieces or cracks in the relationship are impossible to fix, and/or there's no way out. But while tough, these instances are probably also pretty rare. More often, I think people want an easy solution to tough relationship issues, but just like weight-loss or rebuilding financial ruin, the fix will never be 1-2-3. It takes hard, proactive work. But what's the point of getting married or committing to someone in the first place if you can't deal with that? And what's the point of staying in a relationship if you aren't willing to work to maintain it?

The bottom line: We can't look at someone like the Governator and say powerful men are the only ones who act like dogs. Many everyday men and women are just as guilty. Many of us could stand to consider what's best for our relationships -- and consciences -- in the long-run: Putting in the time and effort to create a happy partnership or believing we should have our cake and eat it too by taking the easy, sleazy cop-out.

Do you feel that cheaters are usually cowards who won't address their relationship issues?


Image via kimarketing/Flickr

lying, breakups, marriage, sex

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nonmember avatar Christopher Kay

This sort of thing is their own business. All men are the same and they shall never change. It is a man's world no matter how much the women would want it to change. Every man has such a story that is hidden away. Going against the tide will only bring trouble. Women are less and less secure as they grow old and their own kind creates all the trouble where sex is concerned in this world. Is this sisterhood or what? Women want men to have the zippers up? Instead those women should have the legs closed. after all it takes two to tango.

Sugar... Sugarmama76

Funny now I guess.  I am currently going through a divorce and the ashleymaddison site is on of the sites that my ex was on behind my back.  Sucks but what can I do it was his mistake not mine...  Oh Welltsk tsk

Shell... ShellyEnglish

When a person cheats on their partner the message being portrayed here is " they are not good enough." We can dance around the subject all day and rationalize who and why people cheat the fact remains is that when you cheat you are not only a coward you are also liar and a thief. In case you are wondering why the cheater is a thief  the answer is that when you are unfaithful you are stealing your partners time whether it's days, months, or years. You see when your in a relationship or marriage a persons time is invested and this is worth much more than money they will never get that time back.  In all fairness it's not easy to tell your partner that you are unhappy and suggest some form of intervention, it's awkward and complicated. I guess It's easier to cheat and not face those issues, but that does not make it right. In life there will be many obstacle's to tackle and we have to face reality and get on with it. Relationships are hard work and we need to be honest with one another when things are not going well meaning nip it in the bud as the longer you leave it the harder the blow. Just think about the other person for a second and not yourself. Think of how you can destroy this persons life doing the things you do. What I am saying is life is too short, either break off the relationship if you are unhappy or get some type of intervention service instead of cheating. 

Audrey Greene

Bill Grundfest
Yesterday, 7:01 p.m.
The reason so many people believe that ALL politicians are sociopathic liars is that so many ARE, that the only rational stance is to assume they ALL are. Arnold not only crossed these lines, but LIED to his wife FOR TEN YEARS - not about sex, but about an actual living child that existed. Arnold, John Edwards, Gavin Newsome, Antonio V. and yes even Bill Clinton - they can lie to your face as easily as breathe. http://bit.ly/jQRxmQ

Mar Mann

I knew from the begining that he was a Hipocrate, but still vote for him.


 

Mar Mann

People vote for him. Garbage


 

nonmember avatar Amber

Boy do I enjoy being polyamorous. Monogamy to me is unnatural and unreasonable. Humans are not monogamous creatures by nature and thinking that the desire to be intimate with someone else is a sign of "something missing" in your relationship is ludicrous.

Who is to say she did not know all along? Who is to say they are simply not happy with each other anymore and the affair had nothing to do with it.

If you find yourself attracted to someone else and still attracted to your partner, discuss opening the relationship. I joke sometimes that the difference between monogamy and polyamory is that poly partners communicate more. And its true. You *have* to. I hope some day all the people who are pretending to be monogamous and cheating just grow some balls and have a frank discussion with their primary partners and enjoy the freedom to love freely and openly.

Layla19 Layla19

Polyamory /= cheating; cheating includes dishonesty. And, I don't believe there's ever "no way out." You end your relationship, then start the new one. In that order.

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