How Lunch With the Girls Helps Your Marriage

Heather Chaet
1

friends help marriagesAll marriages need work. Maybe not "rebuild the whole foundation" work, but a marriage, like a house, always needs a little maintenance. Especially once kiddos arrive on the scene, the relationship with your spouse often goes through periods of neglect by mere fact you are both exhausted. So, every once and a while, it's good to check over your marriage to see if the nuts and bolts are a little loose, see if they need a little tightening up.

There are so many ways to tighten up your marriage, make it stronger. Do a new activity together, touch more, schedule weekly date nights. But the latest one I found actually has nothing to do with being with my husband.

What am I doing? I'm working on my relationship with other women. Okay, it's not in the "every man's fantasy" kind of way, no sex tape is coming out, folks, but I'm making a definite effort to spend more time with my girlfriends.

Don't get me wrong, my husband is my BFF, but that doesn't mean he should be the only person I confide in -- that would be a lot of pressure on him, on our relationship. Imagine if he's the only one I unload on about everything from the type of garbage bags we use to how I am feeling about Kiddo's night terrors to my struggle to find a swimsuit that covers decently but doesn't make me look like a granny. All of that muddles and takes up time when we could be reconnecting with each other after a long day.

My husband has his good guy buddies, the ones he talks to about sports, his work, and yes, sometimes, our relationship. I don't have a network of friends like that ... and no, I'm not totally socially awkward, I've just been busy or working or mommying. And I kinda forgot about the importance of hanging with the girls -- the advice, the laughter, the girlie talk -- and how that can help me be a better wife and mom. Somewhere, along the way, I forgot all of the lessons we learned from Sex and the City. Dude, Samantha would be so peeved at me.

So I'm working on it. I'm reconnecting with old friends I've lost touch with, emailing other friends more often. I went to lunch the other day, just me and a girlfriend, and it was the first time I had ever done that (or at least I can't remember the last time I did it). We dished about kid stuff, life stuff, work stuff. I was feeding that interpersonal connection need ... so I didn't have to just rely on my husband for that, leaving room in our marriage for the important husband-wife things. See, marriage maintenance done!

Does the relationship with your girlfriends make your marriage stronger?

 

Image via alisharusher/Flickr

Read More