You've probably heard the news: After 25 years of marriage, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announced yesterday that they have separated.
It turns out that Shriver created a YouTube video earlier this year that seemed to hint at the split to come. Posted on March 28, the video features Shriver sitting in front of a camera and talking about the challenge of making major life transitions. "It's so stressful to not know what you're doing next," she says. "People ask you what are you doing and then they can't believe that you don't know what you're doing."
Shriver then made the possibly insane move of asking viewers to leave comments for her: "As you know, transitions are not easy. I'd love to get your advice on how you've handled transitions in your own life."
Ohhhhhh girl. You're asking YouTube viewers for advice?
Well, surprisingly enough, they're really not too bad so far. Of course, the view count is pretty low at the moment (2,555 as of this writing), so the REAL nutjobs have yet to arrive, but here are some of the supportive words posted for Maria:
Painful as it might be, your life is about to get better. The best goal in 2011? Ignore all the reality shows and ego-maniacs and concentrate on making the world a better place. Do every little task as a sacrifice. Be the person you were at 14. Be an instrument. To quote Mother Theresa: Keep the joy of loving God in your heart and share this joy with all you meet.
I’m a counselor, and at 50 I had major challenges: end of a career, divorce, Mom dying of ALS, and cancer. From this experience I developed the 4 Rs to help others get through difficult times and find wisdom, not bitterness. They are: Relationship: the people I turn to and BELONG to; Respite: how to take time AWAY from everything; Resilience: inner strength gained through self-awareness and skills, and Renewal: see meaning, keep hope, dream big!
Reach out to others who are or have recently been in transition and share tips. Think back to previous times when you were in transition. What do you wish you had done differently in terms of coping with the changes? Be brave and surround yourself with people who support your goals and dreams. Try a new career, go back to school, relocate, or start a business, for eg.. Whether it's a personal or professional change, periods of transition can be the ideal time to reinvent yourself. :)
YOU are the one that gets to look at your 'transition" however you want to. And I am also learning that sometimes is is ok to be STILL. People ask- what's next? What are you doing? and there is nothing wrong with saying..."I'm being still, so that I can be open to seeing where my next source of inspiration will come from."
After I transitioned I wish I would have known there were so many people just like me out there. People who were feeling the same way I felt alone in a moment but if someone somewhere feels just like we do then we are not alone because we share a feeling and a unique moment together: LIFE.
And, of course, a few of the not-so-supportive words:
With the money she's going to get in the divorce - she can pay someone to make the transition for her. the outpouring of sympathy for this lady is offensive.
There's really no sympathy for arnold - look what he gets: never has to wake up next to skeletor again. can you imagine how happy this man is today? like christmas x1000
i don't understand. why don't you get this advice from a professional? the internet is no place to turn when you're questioning who you are.
As someone who's been sharing her personal life via blogging for over 8 years, I can't disagree more with that last comment. I mean, I don't know if I'd turn to YouTube for guidance (because those people can usually be counted on to find something awful to say about a laughing baby video, for god's sake), but there can be a real value in hearing from so many different people with different perspectives. Hopefully some of these shared thoughts are helpful for Ms. Shriver as she deals with the fallout of an extremely public life transition.
What kind of advice would you give Maria Shriver right now?
Image via YouTube