The Other Woman Is Ugly -- Does It Make You Feel Better?

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CheatersYou found out your man is cheating. What started out as a suspicion gnawing at your stomach is now a reality bolder than a cheap pastel Easter suit. 

Then you stumble across a picture of the intrusive trollop — or worse, see the chick in person — and you think what in the blazin’ frumpy hell?! Did I really get played for that?!

Happened to my best friend, who is certifiably adorable. Not just because she’s my bestie, but because she’s apparently physically pleasing to the average male eye. Still, that didn’t stop her then-fiance from wrecking their whole relationship with a woman who looked like she rolled out of bed, rolled on the ground, rolled through a hostile beehive, and then rolled in the hay with Keisha’s man.

To top it all off, she had the nastiest attitude ever saddled on one human being and an obnoxiously missing molar on the right side of her mouth. The heck? 

I’m sure it’s the same feeling Princess Di had when Charles stepped out with Camilla Parker Bowles and the sentiment shared by Shaunie O’Neal when Shaq ran through his stable of uncomely side chicks before settling on reality show reject Hoopz.

If your man is going to jeopardize your entire love affair, disrupt your household, and reduce your memories to bitterly sliced-up garments, mementos, and pictures, he could at least have the decency to do so because he scored himself a Rihanna or a Rachel McAdams.

Let’s get all of the niceties out of the way. Yes, there’s somebody for everybody. Yes, everyone is someone beautiful to somebody out there. But this a petty blog post that lets women who have been done dirty make snide remarks about their ex’s selection in substandard replacement chicks and poke fun at the homely heffas, not an online self-help group. Besides, if you haven’t stolen someone’s man, you shouldn’t take it personal anyway.

That being said, guys will insist that cheating has less to do with how physically irresistible the woman on the side is and more about the need she’s fulfilling that main girlfriend can’t or won’t. (Even The Boyfriend dared to cosign this idea, which proves he really does have a steel set given the highly sensitive nature of the subject and my ability to hold a grudge for a really, really long time.)

In the land of logical checks and balances, it would make sense if your man poo pooed on your commitment because a breathtaking babe built like the human number eight paid him some attention. Heck, the offense might even seem somewhat forgivable. But Pigeon-Toed Paula from the accounting department at his office? Now that hurts. What could that no-frills gal possibly bring to your man’s table that you couldn’t?

With the 80/20 rule in play, there are as many answers as there are homewreckin’ hoochies in the world. (And with the march of reality TV starlets still beating strong, we’re ever-dismayed to know just how many that is.) Knowing that despite your best, all-in effort, only 80 percent of your dude’s needs are going to be satisfied makes that 20 percent deficient seem like a chasm as wide as Louis Farrakhan’s part.

In the end, does it really matter how the woman who can come between you and your main squeeze looks? Not at all. But it sure makes for plenty of good heckling ammunition when you and your gaggle of girlfriends get hold of the information.

So beautiful ones, you know as well as I do that 1) a guy who takes his 20 percent out to market doesn’t deserve your time or tears in the first place and 2) the other woman who didn’t realize she was indeed the other woman should get a pass from any harassment about her physical shortcomings, especially when measured against someone as fabulous as yourself.

But if said side chick was a willing participant, fully knowledgeable about you and your role as his woman/wife/girlfriend/lady, then feel free to be as ridiculously petty as Mother Nature made her homely. It ain’t about maturity — it’s about comedy. And nothing heals like a good, hearty laugh. Especially at a cheater’s expense.

What’s worse: finding out your guy cheated with a drop-dead gorgeous model-type or learning that he forged an affair with the poster girl for frumpiness?



Image via justDONQUE.images/Flickr

breakups, dating, dating mom, divorce, single moms

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Kate Williams

I've had both happen, and both feel like crap.   the frumpy one the feeling was "Couldn't he of at least cheeted with someone hot?" and the sexy one was "I'll never be pretty enough". 

puasa... puasaurus

They both suck because they point out your inadequicies as a woman. Either you're "not hot enough" or not mentally stimulating. That being said, it hurt more for me when it was the ugly chick because, more than it being a physical affair, it was an emotional affair. It was easier for it to be cut off with the beautiful girl because she was just sex, whereas the ugly girl was a partner.

bills... billsfan1104

Instead of worrying why her man went and had a long term affair with an "ugly" woman, maybe your friend should figure out what wrong in her marriage or relationship to make him wander. There are men out there who cheat just to cheat, but there are also men out there who are lonely, disgrunteled(sp?) with their relationship and instead of telling their significant other, they go looking elsewhere. Women have to understand that sometimes, they are partially respoonsible for their man going elsewhere.

PonyC... PonyChaser

Yes, it takes two to break a marriage, but it only takes one to make the decision to "go elsewhere" before that marriage is officially dissolved. The problems in the relationship may be half her responsibility, but it is fully his fault if he chooses to cheat.


As one who has been there, I can fully understand the need to trash the "other woman".

PonyC... PonyChaser

But I do have to commend the author in her choice of phrases... I'm cracking up over much of this article... ("what in the blazin’ frumpy hell?!" has got to be one of the best lines. ever.)

nmmama09 nmmama09

"But this a petty blog post that lets women who have been done dirty make snide remarks about their ex’s selection in substandard replacement chicks and poke fun at the homely heffas, not an online self-help group"


This is why Billsfan. This isn't the time for "what did the woman do wrong?" I was cheated on by someone prettier and that made me feel like hell. My sis was cheated on by a chick who got whooped with the ugly stick and she felt just as bad as me.

bills... billsfan1104

I feel sorry for women that get cheated on, I honestly do. I guess it feels better to rag on a women, that cheated with a man that she knew she was taken. I am glad that the author makes that distinction. I cant stand married men, they make me ill.

Addys... Addys_Mom

puasaurus i think you put it well. it seems like if its with a hot chick you can more easily chalk it up to "he just wanted to have sex with a hot girl" whereas if its someone average, you know its more emotional than physical and that seems like it would be harder to deal with. But neither is ideal.

Addys... Addys_Mom

And as a side note, the picture on this article seriously creeps me out! I couldn't read fast enough to scroll down and get it off the screen!

Zamaria Zamaria

My husband cheated with an ugly woman. She was extremely overweight, ugly features, and stupid. It made me wonder if I was really really ugly to him if he thought she was worth cheating with.

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