A Man's 12 Years Without Sex Makes Me Want to Cry


A radio station caller in Boston told the DJs at WZLX that he had gone 12 years without sex. TWELVE YEARS without sex.

Apparently, his wife went through early menopause and lost interest and he was trying to stay faithful -- and did. Wow. That is a man who loves his wife.

I can say unequivocally right now that there is no way I could go that long without sex. In fact, the longest I've ever gone was six weeks and that was after the births of my children, and there was a lot of fooling around in between. Because, dude, sex is a crucial part of the human experience. I would sooner abandon water (or air -- ha!) than sex with my husband.

Sex really does so much for us. It relieves stress and tension. Just think how many times you (or your husband) have come home from a stressful day at work and tried to get some nookie started.

Sex also improves the heart rate, which improves our overall cardiovascular health, which lowers the rates of many diseases and decreases the likelihood of obesity. According to WebMD, sex also increases intimacy (obviously), reduces pain, decreases the likelihood of prostate cancer, strengthens the pelvic floor muscles, and helps people sleep better.

In other words, sex matters. It matters a hell of a lot more than people think.

Think of how you feel after sex. Do the words relaxed, intimate, and happy come to mind? What else makes us feel that way? There are so many guaranteed highs like that in life, why would we give up the one that makes us most human?

It's wonderful that this man was trying to be faithful to his wife, but I believe that any woman who really loved her husband wouldn't ask such a thing. That is the point at which you let him find a girlfriend or at least find someone to pay. Twelve years of masturbation does not a sex life make.

So, how long could you go? A week? Two? I know in my house, once we hit the five-day mark, my husband starts to grumble. I can go a bit longer (maybe closer to a week or so), but then we start to bicker and other things start to annoy us. And, of course, that is a different question than how long one can go without an orgasm. For me, that answer is more like 48 hours. 

For our marriage, for our stress levels, and for our general happiness, sex and orgasm are absolute musts. Life is way too short to give up something so essential for that long. That poor, poor man has a lot of years to make up.

How long could you go without sex?


Image via the Italian voice/Flickr

sex, marriage


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butte... butterflymkm

During certain periods in our relationship due to medical issues and mental health issues I have gone a two months or more. My fiancé is understanding and I will give in, mostly to make him happy. But sex most of the tune isn't enjoyable for me. I can't and have never orgasmed from sex due to sexual abuse I suffered as a kid. I can orgasm from masturbation but not with another human. And yes I have had therapy and drugs and my fiancé is the most patient man I know and will preform oral sex for hours if I let him but I would rather just get it over with and move on. It sucks but it is what it is.


Im going on 8 months right now. Price one pays for being a single parent.

nonmember avatar Anon

Very disappointing article. I'll leave it at that. I will be reading no more of your articles.

cmari... cmarie452

I can barely make it a week. Sexual satisfaction is such a big part of relationships, I could never hold out for 12 years.

nonmember avatar JN

Oh, big deal. I've gone 8 years without sex. Not that unusual in Silicon Valley.

nonmember avatar Annie

Oh come on. Living without sex might not be enjoyable but it certainly is possible and common. Think of all the single parents out there that aren't dating, the nuns in their convents, the grieving widows, the shy men or women who are waiting for prince/princess charming.

You might find it amusing to brag about your sex life but for us, not so much. By the way, I've been single for 6 months and feel perfectly fine.

Sweet... Sweet_Britt

Ummm...I think if your truly love someone, their inability to have sex wouldn't be the END all.

If she was in some horrible accident and was unable to have sex (or reverse the situation), that does not mean you let your husband/wife get a little action on the side. 

Im acutally really disappointed in this blog/article. 

Linds... Lindsey.m.speir

Think of all the people that are married to a service member. My husband was deployed for 7 months and I never once wanted to have sex with any one else so think before you speak yes 12 years seems like a long time but with that much love maybe they felt that they did not need it to be happy together.

nonmember avatar Christine

I was 25 when I had sex for the first time with my husband. I do not want to have sex with any one but him. If for whatever reason sex was not possible between the two of us I would never have sex again if it meant he and I were still together to love each other.

Yadie... YadielsMama

I hate when people brag about sex like they have it all the time and can't understand anyone else who doesn't keep up a rigorous sex schedule like they do.  Relationships and people don't just fall apart or go sour the second they reach the "week" mark of not having sex.  Please.... 

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