spermDo you feel really good after a solid roll in the hay? Sure you do! But, did you know that the positive feelings might not come from just the sex itself, but your dude's semen? Of course you didn't! Who would?! That's weird! Apparently, it's true, though.

Recently, Dr. Lazar J. Greenfield published an editorial in Surgery News, which is associated with the American College of Surgeons, where he is the president-elect. The article suggested that there are chemical elements in semen that decrease feelings of depression in women. Sluts rejoice! It then goes on to cite a few studies that back up the fact that women having unprotected sex are happier than those who don't.

Well, some ladies were none too pleased about this little gem of knowledge. And they started complaining. And the entire issue was pulled from the web! And Greenfield resigned as editor! I mean, relax, girls, the dude's, like, a scientist.

Sure, there were parts of the article that weren't exactly "medical sounding," like this little tidbit:

So there's a deeper bond between men and women than St. Valentine would have suspected, and now we know there's a better gift for that day than chocolates.

Okaaaay. Or even this:

Female college students having unprotected sex were significantly less depressed than were those whose partners used condoms. Their better moods were not just a feature of promiscuity, because women using condoms were just as depressed as those practicing total abstinence. The benefits of semen contact also were seen in fewer suicide attempts and better performance on cognition tests.

But the guy's not Jonathan Franzen, he's a doctor! And he's reporting factual information! His journalistic style is ... interesting, to say the least, but must we make everything a controversy? It's not like he was making things up, or trying to persuade women to sleep with him. He was talking science!

Lighten up, ladies! Maybe you're just having too much protected sex. How can we remedy that? How can you get the mood-enhancing benefits of semen without ... you know? Ooh, how about maybe putting some in your protein shake in the morning? Or a sprinkle in your salad dressing? Hey, I wonder if it works through your scalp? Because then you could just add some to your shampoo. Thoughts?

No, seriously, I really dislike when people make an issue of something that is nothing -- and this really is one of those times. Chillax. It's just sex.

What do you think of the outrage of the semen study?

 

Image via SantaRosa OLD SKOOL/Flickr