In the latest issue of InStyle, Kate Hudson is doing her usual, no-holds-barred yakkin' about her personal life. Specifically, she shared what made her fall in love with her baby daddy, Matthew Bellamy, lead singer of the band Muse. Although their courtship doesn't sound like much to write home about ("I just couldn't stay away. I wanted to talk to him and be with him all the time. On our first dates we would take long walks and talk the entire day."), what struck me as most interesting was how Kate's pregnancy transpired after only months of dating ...
Well, it wasn't like we didn't know what we were doing. There were no ovulation kits involved. We were tempting fate, and it worked.
Sounds suspiciously like the non-plan was actually a plan to just ... conceive. No interest or worries about getting a ring on it. Marriage was probably not even on the couple's radar.
Rumors swirled that the couple got engaged in January, around the same time they announced the pregnancy, but Kate denied them, stating on Britain's The Graham Norton Show:
I don't like putting that sort of pressure on it. I don't feel it necessary to get married ... I am 31, I already have one child and one divorce, so it is not necessarily the golden ticket. I just want to be happy.
Judging from the way things have been going lately in Hollywood and elsewhere, Kate's attitude is no surprise.
Aside from the obvious glitzypants, unmarried pairings like Angelina and Brad, who conceived/adopted multiple children, more and more couples -- even those who are never-marrieds as opposed to divorcees -- are opting for babies before vows. I recall even a few years ago, friends who ended up with "Whoops ... but, okay!" pregnancies walked down the aisle popped-belly and all, or waited until their kid was over a year or so before taking the plunge. Now ... I know more than a few young women who have had babies with their significant other ... and there's really no discussion of tying the knot. To them, it is what it is. And they're good with that.
I can't say I blame them for opting out of "I do." Given the fact that many of us in our mid-20s to mid-30s have seen our parents or many of our friends' parents make utter messes of their own marriages, it's no surprise that many women are compartmentalizing becoming a mom and becoming a wife. One doesn't necessarily have to come before the other. But by now, this is kind of old news, right?
As for me, I'm pretty sure that I would prefer for my own life to play out in a conventional fashion -- engaged, married, kid. I say prefer, because who knows what the Universe has in store for me. I know I can't control everything. At the same time, I passionately support my right and any woman's right to plan her parenthood -- even if that plan looks to others as if she's putting the cart before the horse.
How do you feel about women having babies without any intention of getting married?
Image via InStyle