Girls in Stilettos Are More Likely to Get a Date (PHOTOS)


Cute shoesI care about what my man likes and doesn’t like. I care about his opinion on social issues and political platforms. I care about his culinary tastes when we’re out for dinner and what kind of music he prefers to listen to.

But do I care if he likes what I wear? Not really.

In fact, I’m always a bit ... taken aback ... when my beloved has input into what I buy or what I decide to put on. Case in point: after an impromptu outing at a discount store a few weeks ago, I was all proud to show him a few pairs of sandals that I got for (cue the tambourines and organ chord) $4 a pair. Like these above.

He absolutely hated them. H-a-t-e-d. Still high off of my bargain-basement-cheap-but-still-adorably-cute fashion finding, I was surprised when Mr. Blackwell over there scrunched up his nose and declared, “Flat shoes should kill bugs and swat flies. Women should wear stilettos every day, all the time.”

That comment was brought to you by a Sexist Man Moment, which he had the nerve to cap off with a chuckle. Yeah, honey. Hardy har har.

First of all, there are plenty of men who can dress their butts off, dapper dudes who can put together outfits as fly and well thought out as any woman. But God bless his precious little heart, my boyfriend is not one of them. He’s a polo and jeans and fitted cap kind of guy. If that’s what he can run into the store and grab fast enough to get the heck out of Marshall’s or Macy’s as expeditiously as he possibly can, that’s what he’s going to buy. He keeps it real basic.

I, on the other hand, am a self-professed style maven. Love clothes and accessories, love shopping, love experimenting with different looks — but my heart sings, my knees quiver, and my palms sweat over some shoes. I am a footwear addict: boots, sneakers, sandals, Mary Janes. Love, love, love, and love some more. (Except loafters and Uggs. Just can’t get aboard those bandwagons.)

Needless to say, my pulse races over some hot-to-death four-inch heels. I own a gazillion pairs of them. But dangit, teetering almost a half a foot off the ground while dodging utility grates in the sidewalk, climbing a mountain’s height in stairs, and zipping in and out of cars, cabs, and public transportation is nowhere as easy as it looks — and the crap isn’t very often comfortable, I don’t care how high-end they are. I explained this to him. His blank stare told me that it really didn’t matter. Women, he said, are just 10 times sexier in stilettos than they are in flats. He pulled some of his favorites from my closet: 

Cute shoes
These are hot, but they definitely have a time limit. Don't pass go for more than 3 hours at a time.
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Bet y'all can't guess who bought these for my birthday last year? And they're 5 inches, not 4.

Oh well. He can exemplify all he wants to. Homeboy has been forewarned that, in that case, he might be in for a long, hot, sexy-less summer because this glamour girl is trying to take it down a peg or two in the interest of foot relief and a little bit of comfort. It’s not that I don’t want him to drool over me swaying my hips in my stiletto swagger. I do. But dangit, shouldn’t everything I wear have that effect on him, from my big fluffy coat to my flat, gladiator sandals? I thought it was the person in the gear that made the gear sexy, not the other way around. I love towering heels too much to take them too far out of the rotation. But he might be the one who has to grin and bear it.

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Another pair of boyfriend repellents

At least I'll be happy in my "crappy" little flats, and that's all right with me. 

Do you wear what your man likes, even if you don’t particularly care for it? Do you have something in your wardrobe that he absolutely hates? 

dating, dating mom, turn-offs


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nonmember avatar Mike M

Janelle, as a guy who's always trying to understand the differences between men and women my guess is that in general most men probably don't hold as much of the overall value that women do for most things that are fashionable. While we (men and women) use the same adjective to describe our thoughts (which often leads women to think that men care [positively or negatively] as much about something as they themselves do), my feelings are that men typically just aren't as emotionally invested in fashion sense as women are. (Seeing how common it is for gay men to be interested in fashion and having heard some women mention how they've met one or more gay men who have a much better sense of fashion than most men I'm inclined to believe that unlike heterosexual men, gay men aren't that much different from women in this regard.) In short, don't stress yourself out too much about what he thinks about your shoes as he probably isn't as concerned as you are. Also, if you haven't told your boyfriend that it is difficult to wear heels for a number of hours just let him know what your thoughts are. (You don't have to try to convince him on the spot that heels are hard on your feet - you just want him to know this so he better understands your decision to wear what you want to wear.) (And if you're interested I personally don't have much of an opinion about women's footwear for a variety of reasons with the main reason being in support of whatever is comfortable for her feet.)

cosmi... cosmicnoodles

I totally agree that heels are sexier, but it is good to balance them with cute & comfy flats.

When my boyf gets on me about style, I remind him that his wardrobe echos that of a modern-day Bob Villa (plaid shirts and jeans).  That usually shuts him up. ;)

dirti... dirtiekittie

i would love to wear heels like that, but i wasn't born with that kind of grace. i'll admit with a quickness that rocking a heel like that takes practice, precision and a few falls in the beginning. i personally love my ballet flats and tennis shoes, and the biggest heel i own is about 1 1/12 inches (much to my fashionista friends' chagrin).

the thing is, i *do* wear things that my hubby likes because he likes them. if i know he likes seeing me in a skirt, then i'll wear one from time to time. the trick is to do it often enough that they take notice, but not so often that it's no longer a surprise when their beautiful lady steps out with them.

nonmember avatar BuggyEyes

I have the opposite problem! I LOOOOVE stilettos and hiiiiigh heels (no shorter than a 5" for this lady!) But my man is scared of them! He is afraid I will step on his bare feet or something and hurt him. So I'm stuck with my chuck taylors. (Not that I'm complaining. Too much.)

Kasey Comingore

my bf told me that i made him look like a slob (which he kinda is) when we would go out together.  he likes me dressed down with no make up.  which is good, but has its own drawbacks.

JDSmi... JDSmith625

I will be glad when flat sandles are out again:)

nonmember avatar adidas

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