Some famous couples are just the poop! Sid and Nancy, Britney and Justin -- Brad and Jen! Ahh, the halcyon days when it was all Brad and Jen, all the time. Remember when Jen wore that "I love Brad Pitt" shirt on Saturday Night Live? Amazing. And then how about when Brad wore a "Jen" bracelet at some awards show. Heaven! They were American Royalty in the form of two tanned, matching-highlighted people in peak physical condition.
But then remember when they broke up? Ugh, worst day ever. I remember exactly where I was -- on the set of a TV show I worked on. A fellow writer's assistant came up to me and was all, "Did you hear the news? Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston broke up." Time stood still. A loud ringing sound took up space in my head. I felt like I could drink an entire bathtub of water and never be quenched. So now, when I hear the names Brad and Jen (even if it is one Cooper, and not Pitt), my heart skips a small beat.
It all started a few days ago when a co-worker sent me an email with the stars' names -- minus their last names. All I saw was "Brad and Jen," and I thought, "Bwaaahhh?!" Even after I realized that it was B.Coop instead of the original, though, I kind of liked it.
Come on, guys. You know what I'm taking about! It reminds us of the good ol' days. The days when everything was right in the world of celebrity dating. There was no such thing as TomKat, Bennifer, and worst of all, Brangelina. It was about good times back then. Our present business was general fun. (Shout out to King Lear. You're welcome, Shakespeare.) And their names just went so perfectly together. Name one other point in time when two monosyllabic words had so much power? When they were so ... sexy?
So, maybe that's where some of this Brad and Jen (Cooper and Aniston) hype is coming from. Sure, they're both single and easy on the eyes -- and Cooper does bear a strikingly similar coloring to BP -- but they're Brad and Jen. Not Brad and Renee. Not Jen and John. Brad and Jen.
Of course, if they do get together, Cooper is going to have some big shoes to fill. I mean, I don't know if you've noticed, but Brad Pitt is kind of attractive and he's not too shabby at the acting either. I wouldn't want to come after that guy in anything. But it will be perfect for Jen, sweet Jen. She will finally be able to close her eyes in the throes of passion and shout, "Yes, Brad!" from the top of her lungs. And it totally won't be weird.
Brad and Jen, people, Brad and Jen.
What do you think of the new Brad and Jen?
Image via Splash News