Birthday cakeDo you use sex as a reward or present for your man? Let's say he got a big promotion at work or finally put the toilet seat down at home. Or maybe it's his birthday. Do you do things in the bedroom that are out of the ordinary for you?

I do because -- and I know some of you are going to find this offensive but -- men are like children. They like to be rewarded when they do something well. And, they like to get presents -- just like kids. The difference is: Children like getting ice cream for having good grades or taking a trip to the mall to pick something special out for their birthday.

And men? What do they want? S-E-X. It’s the ultimate gift.

Can you blame them? After all of the birthdays that I've had, I wouldn't mind a sex-oriented present instead of a bouquet of Costco roses. A leisurely afternoon delight with no worries, no rushing to finish up and move on to the next task event. An afternoon that has plenty of time in it so I can clear my mind of all of the extraneous junk that resides there and really, really be present and revel in the moment.

And I'm not going to lie about what I do on the flip side. I use sex to reward my man, to give him a gift, and even as a way to improve his mood. Depending on the scenario, I do something different to change it up a bit. A pre-sex massage complete with warm oils, a little (or a lot of) fellatio, and even surprising my husband by making an impromptu trip earlier that day to my aesthetician for a good old overdue bikini wax.

Everyday sex is great, bonding, fulfilling, and usually orgasmic. But special occasion sex is va-va-voom, knock your socks off, and rock your world. Nothing says "I Love You" more than paying a little extra attention to your partner's sexual needs and desires. And even better, you're the only one who can give him that gift.

Do you give your partner sex for a present or as an extra-special thank-you?

 

Image via Will Clayton/Flickr