New Facebook Relationship Status: Arrested

Nicole Fabian-Weber

facebookMy husband's not on Facebook. Is he too cool for school? Maybe. But I like it. Despite the fact that I use it, I think it's a little bit corny (I actually saw a status update the other day that read, "Had the worst day ever, but just walked in to a romantic candlelit dinner! I love you, Boo!" Barf!). It's also a little bit dangerous if you're in a real-life fight with someone. (We've all seen the cryptic updates along the lines of "Sometimes people just don't get it.") Typically, it doesn't serve as a means to mend things -- in fact, it seems to do just the opposite: fuel the fire.

Especially if your name is Tina Cash and you unfriend your live-in boyfriend and change your relationship status to "single" and then get into a fight with him so violent the police have to be called. Yeah, then it's bad times.

Okay, so Tina Cash and her boyfriend, Thomas Gannon, 35 (that's 35 years old), were dating and living together in sin. Everything was hunky-dory until they got into an argument. NBD, right? We all get into lovers' quarrels. But when Tina unfriended Thomas and changed her relationship status to "single," oh hell no.

Thomas confronted her and was all, "Your status is 'single' now? It's because Joey Palmer 'poked' you the other day? That's totally why! I knew it! I slept with Brenda!" No, that's not what he said -- except in my mind -- but they got into a brawl. Words were exchanged, things were thrown (like a framed flag from Thomas's great grandfather), the police showed up. They were both arrested and held without bail.

Now, the cut and dried version of this makes them seem ridiculous: Couple gets arrested over relationship status. But, when you think about it: unfriending your boyfriend and advertising yourself as single without so much as a convo about the whole thing -- that's cold! That's not LOL, that's OMG, FYI. If my husband was just my boyfriend, and he was on Facebook, and he did that, I would be pissed! (Granted, we wouldn't throw things and yell so loud the cops would have to come -- we're classy, passive-aggressive folk.)

Times, they have a-changed. And as crazy as it is to get into a fight over a relationship status, that's the world we live in. You can't just willy-nilly change your status, girl! That makes it good as gold. You need to know for sure what's going on with the two of you before making the switch. Seriously.

What do you think of changing your relationship status before talking to your significant other?


Image via codemastersnake/Flickr

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